Browse Tag: Anger

A Soft Answer

Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Yesterday, while waking through a busy Walmart parking lot with my family, I witnessed something that reminded me of Proverbs 15:1. Cars were pulling in and out. People were walking in various directions. It was a bit chaotic.

A family was walking in the opposite direction to us as a car was turning into the lane. There wasn’t much room for cars and pedestrians. The car stopped. The passenger window lowered. I heard an angry voice. The father of the family coming toward us was surprised and stopped for a moment. A person in the vehicle was angrily talking to him.

The situation made me nervous. You never know what someone might impulsively do when they are angry, especially behind the wheel of a vehicle. Something tragic could easily happen given how many people were walking and how close the cars were to us.

To my great relief, the man walking kindly said to the person to the angry person in the car, “I am very sorry. I did not know. It wasn’t intentional.” He then continued to walk with his family. The driver slowly continued and calmly parked in the next open spot.

I have no idea why the driver was angry. Even the man he yelled at didn’t seem to know. I admired that man for softly answering, thereby turning away the other man’s wrath. Where some people would be ready for a fight and would have let some grievous words fly in reply, this man humbly apologized and moved along. It all happened in a matter of seconds. But it was refreshing to witness.

Why Aren’t You a Dewdrop?

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Look into the eyes of your beloved and ask deeply, “Who are you, my love, who has come to me and taken my suffering as your suffering, my happiness as your happiness, my life and death as your life and death? Who are you whose self has become my self? Why aren’t you a dewdrop, a butterfly, a bird, a pine tree?” Ask with your whole body and mind. Later, you will have to ask the person who causes you the most suffering the same questions: “Who are you who brings me such pain, who makes me feel so much anger and hatred?” To understand, you have to become one with your beloved, and also one with your so-called enemy. You have to worry about what they worry about, suffer their suffering, appreciate what they appreciate. You and the object of your love cannot be two. They are as much you as you are yourself.

Continue until you see yourself in the cruelest person on Earth, in the child starving, in the political prisoner. Practice until you recognize yourself in everyone in the supermarket, on the street corner, in a concentration camp, on a leaf, in a dewdrop. Meditate until you see yourself in a speck of dust in a distant galaxy. See and listen with the whole of your being. If you are fully present, the rain of the Dharma will water the deepest seeds in your store consciousness, and tomorrow, while you are washing the dishes or looking at the blue sky, that seed will spring forth, and love and understanding will appear as a beautiful flower.

-Thich Nhat Hanh
“Teachings on Love”