MAY 10, 2004 "DR. IAN NUTCAKES ON THE PSYCHIATRY OF TIES, CUBICLES AND OTHER ARTISTIC REPRESSIONS"
MY LOYAL READERS...
It is my privilege to introduce to you my long time friend, associate and accomplice, Dr. Ian Nutcakes.
Dr. Nutcakes is a distinguised member of the American Psychiatric Society and a high level staff member of the Neggooozian Institute for Mental Research. In addition,
Dr. Ian is founder of Concerned Physicians For Censored, Repressed And Otherwise Frustrated Artists, commonly known as
CPFCRAOFA, an acronym which no one can pronounce but looks serious. The notorious doctor's personal interests include bungee jumping, darts, cow tipping and music. Among his
musical favorites are Anne Murray, The Bay City Rollers,
Yanni, and of course, Frank Zappa.
My friend, Dr. Nutcakes, has allowed me to publish a few short video snippets of recent scientific observations which he has conducted. Since his study is not yet completed and his treatise on the subject has
not yet been published (look for it in the July issue of Popular Psychiatrics), what I am able to present to you is a brief introduction by Dr. Nutcakes regarding the premise of his recent experiement. There
are three clips of video observation of the main participant in the study (Certain deficiencies in key psychiatric areas were required in order for participants to qualify for this study. The man you will see
in the videos is the only one out of 3.7 million who responded to Dr. Nutcakes' introductory survey who qualified.). The scientific videos are followed by a few concluding remarks by the imminent doctor.
To view the videos, click on the links below in the order they are presented. (PLEASE follow the doctor's order so as not to confuse yourself. YOU are not a doctor!) (3/26/15 - These instructions don't really apply in this age of the new and improved
internet where we have Youtube and Facebook and other brain-dissolving contraptions of which Dr. Ian disapproves but in which he heartily indulges. But read this paragraph for old time's sake... and because there's a little chuckle
at the end. Then just click the videos. You know how to do it, you Youtubefiend, you.) You can either open the video files or save them to
your computer and then open them. I have found some problems with Winamp, but the Windows Media Player seems to play the videos very well. You can also right click on the links and choose "Save Target As" to save the videos to
your computer. MAKE SURE YOUR VOLUME IS ON! These videos have sound! (Nothing but top of the line
technology here!) If you cannot figure out how to play the movies, you may use my contact page to ask for help. Just make sure you fill in the "Contact Name" field with "Dummy" or "Moron" so that I know it's either you or
Disclaimer: These videos are rated PG-13 due to cursing, cranial nudity (aka - BALDNESS) and acute insanity. Neither Dr. Nutcakes nor I are to blame.
Disclaimer 2: A few of these videos are a little dark. Again, neither the doctor nor I had anything to do with it. It is the fault of the amateur filmographer we hired due to budget constraints.
Disclaimer 3: Some people have had problems viewing these. Other people could see them just fine. Neither the doctor nor I have the technological savvy to understand why.
Doctor Ian's Introduction:
Subject Observation #1:
Subject Observation #2:
Subject Observation #3:
Dr. Ian's Concluding Remarks:
Now to wrap things up and to send you away laughing... Here are BLOOPER VIDEOS! Yes, even distinguished
doctors sometimes make mistakes. You're on the set and behind the scenes with Dr. Nutcakes:
On behalf of Dr. Ian Nutcakes, I thank you for enduring the show. Good night.