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DECEMBER 12, 2006 "SINCE YOU ASKED"

Originally posted on the website


What was the most asked question from readers in response to the last entry?

“Who was that white rose from??”

Nope.

“Did you really waste a whole bottle of Pepsi like that??”

Nope.

“Hey, what do you mean by saying womankind anyway??”

No!

The most asked question was “What kind of car did you get?”

Well, since you asked, I got a Toyota Yaris.

Which immediately prompts the question…

“Is there really a bar on the corner of your street??”

Well… Yes, there is. And a liquor store directly across from the bar.

But no, that’s not the next question.

The question is “What the hell is a Yaris??”

EXACTLY what I asked the salesman as we approached it in the dealer’s lot. “Man, what the hell is a Yaris? Some kind of big mountain animal? Like a female Yak?”

He said, “Heh. Funny. Comes with a great cd/mp3 player option for just an additional $750.”

“Great. But I don’t need it, yak-man. I got me a fuckin’ 80 gb iPod!”

“Whoa! THAT is hardcore, yo!”

“Damn straight! And I know the difference between laying and lying, and getting laid and being lied to!”

So, I haggled with the sales-yak for close to an hour. Back and forth. Give and take. You scratch mine, I’ll scratch mine. I knew what I wanted and how much I was willing to pay for it when I walked in there. So haggle, faggle, wiggle, waggle, my friend. After several trips to his manager’s office to relay my bargaining positions, the wishy-washy salesman brought out the manager in person. He proceeded to yak at me for a few minutes then produced a number on a paper.

He said, “My friend, this is how much I pay for this car.” $XX,X06. “You aren’t going to let me make any profit off of this sale?”

“Hmm. You pay $XX,X06? Really?”

“Yep. $XX,X06.”

“I’ll give you $XX,X07. You can make a dollar.”

Thrown off balance by the unexpected humor in my haggle, the head-yak could only grin and agree to my offer. We both knew he was still making a profit. But at least I knew I got the price I wanted. I didn’t get the color I wanted. But I got a good deal. It’s paid for. It’s all mine. And it drives better than any mountain animal I’ve ever rode.

Now, back to that name. Yaris. Every time I mention it I get plenty of odd looks and snickers. But someone was kind enough to look for the meaning of the name and found an explanation straight from Toyota:

“The background on the Yaris name is actually really interesting. It stems from a goddess in Greek mythology, named CHARIS, who was a symbol of beauty and elegance. We put that together with the German expression of agreement, YA. We think the name symbolizes the car’s broad appeal in styling and really represents Toyota’s next generation of global cars.”

Talk about Farfegnugen! I’m ridin’ the goddess, baby! Ya! Symbolize that!



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