Q. "Where does the hambooger go to dance?" (Actual five year old pronunciation)

A. "The meat ball!"

SO begins an extended Easter visit with H and M.

This time Friend J accompanied me on the trip to Harrisburg to pick up the girls. I am telling you, I know the road between here and there so well that I could probably drive it blindfolded! But Friend J wouldn't allow me to do that, he being a sissy and all. (Boy, if he ever starts an online journal, I am in serious trouble!) We did have a fun time with H and M on the way home. For quite a while they were quite excited and wound up especially since Friend J was there. Kids usually act that way when they see a clown. (Okay, man, I'll stop! I was only kidding... Bozo...)

SINCE this is supposed to be a journal, do you want to hear the everyday stuff? I was off from work on Friday. I showered. I was off on Saturday. I didn't shower. Last Wednesday I got a pimple. By Friday there were a flock of them on my forehead, proof that I am a teenager trapped in a man's body. I finally found two old Aerosmith CDs that I have been trying to get my hands on without paying full price through my nose at the record store in the mall. There is a used CD store near my Sister C's house that I just discovered. So much for the children's college fund! Let's see. What other everyday stuff should I tell you? Oh. I made an attempt to purchase a few new shirts for S. How was I to know that a ladies small is huge for a 14-year-old! Excuse me! My fashion deficiency is showing again!

WHILE I am writing this, H and M are playing with the neighbor's kids in the back yard. M ran in at one point, yelling, "I'll be right back. I'm going to be quick as a cookie!" Quick as a cookie, huh? Just exactly how quick is a cookie? I guess, compared with a cake, a cookie is relatively quick! Maybe this is exactly the point that Einstein started at when he was just a five year old little girl. Err... Well, you know what I mean.

Before H and M came this time, I made sure that I had lots of Band-Aids on hand. (No, not actually not on my hand! Do I have to explain everything?) I got a box of Band-Aids that have different animal markings on them: zebra stripes, leopard spots, tiger spots, etc. So far, in just three days, H fell and scraped both knees and an elbow. The zebra stripes are covering those. M cut her finger on a box. The leopard spots took care of that three times over now. While we were in the car today, I noticed a big tiger striped Band-Aid on M's thigh. I asked, "M, what did you do to your leg?" She said, "I hurt it. But it wasn't bleeding or anything." "Oh! So you don't have a boo-boo on your leg. It's an excuse on your leg!" It's amazing how much more serious the injuries become when cool looking Band-Aids are on hand! It's a relative thing again. (I'm catching on to that Einstein guy!)

MORE everyday stuff? Well, a few of us at work have been dipping into a little philosophy a la Forrest Gump. "Stupid is as stupid does." Or the equivalent "Oyster is as oyster does." How about the deeply philosophical "Momma always said that life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." Momma, why didn't you pinch some of those chocolates so that I would have known which ones to avoid? Yes, you are right. You did pinch and I ate the yucky ones anyway. "Stupid is as stupid does!"

Well, I suppose that is enough everyday stuff for one day. Since H and M are with me for the next week, I am sure that plenty of everyday stuff will happen. So stay tuned. I'll write some more soon... relatively speaking.