OKAY! Enough anonymous emails!

Check out this one: "Alright Already !!!!! Its almost the end of August and no entry!!! I know you and what you have been doing!!!! Get with the program and write something!!!! NY, DC, X-Games, Bowel Movement, anything!!! Come on!!!"

OKAY THEN! I will give in and write "something." That's what everyone wants. Right? I need to write "something" for August. Right? Okay. S - O - M - E - T - H - I - N - G. Everybody happy now? I wrote "something." "Something" is better than "nothing." Right? And it is a little more to the point than "anything." Right? So to write "something" is a pretty good idea. Now I am glad that I wrote it. I hate writing "nothing." It's so disappointing. "Nothing." What is "nothing" anyway? What does it look like? Can it even have a look if it is "nothing?" Hmm. Depressing. "Something" is definitely better than "nothing." Wouldn't you say? And I really do not like "anything." Wow! That just made me sound rather negative! But really, I don't like "anything." It scares me. It's too wide. Too undefined. Anything could happen when writing about "anything." Who knows where a guy could end up if he starts writing about "anything!" Writing about "anything" undoubtedly leads to "anywhere." And that is not a safe place for a guy to be. I need to be "somewhere," not just "anywhere." Maybe it's my desperate need to be "somewhere" that compels me to write "something" so that I don't end up just "anywhere" if I start writing about just "anything." Man! I feel much better that I wrote "something" instead of just "anything!" Whew! At least now I know that I am "somewhere" and I feel a whole lot better! I was starting to scare myself just thinking about "anything." It's not good to think about just "anything." There are some things that you really should not let your mind think about. "Anything" is one of them. You will end up in trouble most of the time if you allow yourself to think about "anything." Trouble is "somewhere" that you do not want to be. Now I hear someone object: "But you just said that 'anything' leads to 'anywhere', yet trouble is 'somewhere.'" Ah! You see, if you persist in thinking about "anything" and end up "anywhere" you will eventually sink to the bottom and find yourself "somewhere." That kind of "somewhere" is never a good "somewhere." So when you find yourself drifting on the currents of thoughts about "anything" and floating along "anywhere" you have to quickly come to your senses, think about "something" so that you can end up "somewhere" where you really want to be. Get it? It always comes back to "something." "Something" is the answer. "Something" is always the answer. So don't just settle for "anything," reach for "something."

NOW about the other things suggested in the about mentioned email. NY? DC? Nope. My heart tells me that it would be sacrilegious to write about that. Besides, dear anonymous emailer, just by mentioning those things I know that you already know. Why do you want to hear it again? Sure, I love to talk about NY and why I go there. But it will be better if I tell you again in person so that you can see the glow on my face. The X-Games. Yeah, that is kind of "something" to write about. What a cool time that was in Philadelphia today! I might even post a gallery of photos from the X-Games. But really, your suggestion to write about Bowel Movement, now that is S - O - M - E - T - H - I - N - G! That is "something" with substance! That is "something" that would make for a real juicy entry! "Something" for everyone to sink their teeth into! Uh... Maybe not. Besides, I've written about BM a few times before. Check out December 30, 2000 - "Snow and Chinese Food" and January 3, 2001 - "The Battle of Snydersburg."

OKAY EVERYONE. I have written "something" in August. It's not much of "anything," but it is "something." A little "something." At least I can not be accused of writing "nothing" now. So that is that.