Rand-O-Blog (A Blog of Sorts)
June 30, 2003
Here he is ladies and gentlemen... the first place winner of the Sandy Hook Equipment-Free Fishing Derby, Greg H.!
Give him a big round of applause!
Now, let's get a better look at that amazing whale of a fish!
How about some applause for the fish!
Very good! Very good!
Now, let's go to the instant replay action photo of our weiner... er winner...
Look at that, ladies! What a view! (Are those bio-hazard symbols on his shorts??)
Let's hear some applause for Greg H. from the ladies!
Everyone, let's give Greg a huge round of applause for being such a sport and enduring the abuse that only a close
friend with a website can dish out! Put your hands together!
(Okay... so it's all just a spoof. You knew there was something "fishy" going on here. But we were at the beach on Saturday. If I get the time, I'll tell ya all about it later.)
Posted at 11:00 AM (EST)
June 26, 2003
YOU SMELL SOMETHIN'?
I was driving along on my way home after work today, glanced up into my rearview mirror, saw a good looking girl driving a Jetta.
With the aid of my sunglasses, I was able to keep one eye on the road and the other on the girl without my peeping being noticed.
Both of us had just gotten onto the highway. She was bopping around in her seat a bit, getting comfortable, playing with controls on
the dash. She started lifting her hair up off of her neck, obviously sweating in the 96 degree afternoon. She lifted her hair above her
head, allowed it to slip through her fingers, left her arm up above her head, let out a relaxing breath. I'm thinking, "Nice..."
Then she turned her head and smelled her armpit!!!! She glanced back at the road and then took another sniff! (She must have needed a second
I have seen women doing numerous things while driving: brushing their hair, applying make-up, singing and dancing in their seats. This is the
first time I've seen a woman dive into her own armpit while driving! She was in there too! Her whole face!
Suddenly she wasn't so cute. I put both eyes back on the road in front of me before she had a chance to pick her nose or something while I was
I wonder what her weblog might say today. Maybe something like this:
"So like, I'm driving along listening to the new Jewel song. Can't believe she went all Brittany-like. She must have gotten implants too.
Like that slut, Amber, who sits two cubes away from Jenny. She always has a whole football team of guys hanging around her desk. I hate her.
So I was driving along. It was like so, so hot today! The back of my neck was all ewwwwwie. Like gross!
"Speaking of ewwwwwie... there was this
half-bald guy in front of me. He kept cleaning his ear with his pinky! Like totally really gross! Then, I swear, he smelled his finger! Yuk!
What is it with guys? Always burping and farting and sticking their fingers in places. Pigs. And it was like sooooo obvious that the perv in
front of me was watching me from behind those like so yesterday style sunglasses. Pig. He probably even has kids.
"By the way... I tried that new improved 'works for a man but is made for a woman' deoderant this morning. I think it like stopped working on my drive home.
"I'm taking a poll. What do you think? Should I get implants like Jewel?"
Posted at 6:30 PM (EST)
June 20, 2003
Posted at 6:45 PM (EST)
June 19, 2003
Saw this on the way home from work yesterday...
Posted at 11:20 AM (EST)
June 18, 2003
This is the result of trying to function on just one hour of sleep:
Yup! It's gummibearitis. Similar to elephantitis, but sweeter.
Posted at 2:26 PM (EST)
AND NOW A WORD FROM ONE OF OUR SPONSORS...
Somebody's making me famous again! So I'm returning the favor.
Thank you, Chris, for posting my articles "Don't Lose that Number"
and "Biking at Island Beach State Park" on your website,
Jersey Shore Vacations. I actually
skimmed through these old articles of mine and got a little chuckle out of them.
Okay, peeps... Be sure to check out the New Jersey Vacations website. Lots of info there, especially rental
info. Check out the "Shore Articles" section for writings by myself and others.
Posted at 1:40 AM (EST)
June 16, 2003
Thanks for the creative idea, Sarah!
Posted at 9:50 AM (EST)
June 11, 2003
WANT TO SEE SOME ROAD KILL?
WARNING! This is not for the faint of heart, the queasy of stomach, sissies, or girls!
View these pics at your own risk!
Click below to see:
A Dead Squirrel
A Dead Cat in the Rain
A Dead Cat in the Rain (close up)
A Dead Sam
(I warned you!)
Posted at 11:15 AM (EST)
June 6, 2003
My specially ordered toms finally came in. Yeah, I'm happy! Now my kit consists of 10 drums, including the roto toms, a 14" Sabian thin crash,
a 16" Zildjian ZXT medium crash, a 20" Zildjian ZXT medium ride, 14" Zildjian ZXT hi-hats, and a 16" super trashy sounding Wuhan China cymbal.
It all looks great. It plays great. It just feels right.
My plan is to spend a few months getting back into shape. Then I hope to hook up with some serious musicians and do some serious playing.
Here's an eye update...
Today my eye is back to looking about the same as the picture below from June 4. But look how bad it was yesterday! I could just barely open it.
"Hello? I won't be in to work today due to a malignant, flesh-consuming eye disease."
Posted at 4:45 PM (EST)
June 4, 2003
EWWWWWWW!! Look at my eye!
I accidentally winked at an ugly girl and it got all infected!
No... Really... I sprained it watching a hockey game on TV the other night.
Check it out... My eye lid looks like a little friggin' sausage link!
Makes ya wanna run right out and buy a couple packs of Jimmy Dean sausage, don't it?
Posted at 12:30 PM (EST)
June 2, 2003
Something to think about...
In regard to the US government's and big corporations' influence/control on the media,
Norman Solomon (Executive Director, Institute for Public Accuracy) said the following:
"In theory, everyone in the United States has freedom to speak his or her mind. Freedom
to be heard is another matter." ("Target Iraq: What the News Media Didn't Tell You", 2003, Context Books)
A lot of voices with various view points are not heard because they don't line up with the interests of
those who control the major media outlets. We have freedom of speech here and our news is not censored. However,
many facts are conveniently left out, ignored, changed over time. So what we do hear often has such a spin on it. It's
been sanitized and made to fit in with the agendas of those in control of the outlets. It's hard to believe
anything anymore. Freedom of speech does not mean the same thing today as it did when this country was founded.
Posted at 12:00 PM (EST)