There’s No Place Like Jersey!

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

There’s no place like New Jersey! If you don’t love it… don’t friggin come here! We won’t care! We don’t need ya anyway!

How’s that for a Jersey attitude? Right on!

As one of my best (and best looking) friends is fond of saying, “New Jersey’s a garden… Dig it!”

So here is an ode to New Jersey that my mom passed on to me this morning…

  • New Jersey is a peninsula.
  • Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida.
  • New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as metropolitan areas.
  • New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky.
  • New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq. mi.) than Havana, Cuba.
  • New Jersey has the most dense system of highways and railroads in the US.
  • New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the Diner Capital of the World
  • New Jersey is home to the original mystery pork parts chub (no, not spam) Taylor Ham or Pork Roll.
  • Home to the less mysterious but best Italian hot dogs and Italian sausage w/peppers and onions.
  • North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius.
  • New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.
  • The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John P. Holland.
  • New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns, some of the nations’ most famous: Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch & Cape May.
  • New Jersey has the most stringent testing along our coastline for Water Quality Control than any other seaboard state in the entire country.
  • New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals.
  • Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy.
  • New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and cranberry production (and here you thought Massachusetts?)
  • Here’s to New Jersey-the toast of the country! In 1642, the first brewery in America opened in Hoboken.
  • New Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric guitar in Mahwah in 1940.
  • New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth. Nearly 80% of what our nation imports comes through Elizabeth Seaport first.
  • New Jersey is home to one of the nation’s busiest airports at Newark Liberty International.
  • George Washington slept here. Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington.
  • The light bulb, phonograph (record player) and motion picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ laboratory.
  • We also boast the first town ever lit by incandescent bulbs.
  • The first seaplane was built in Keyport, NJ.
  • The first airmail (to Chicago) was started from Keyport, NJ.>
  • The first phonograph records were made in Camden, NJ.
  • New Jersey is home to the Miss America pageant held in Atlantic City.
  • The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on their playing board after the actual streets in Atlantic City.
  • And Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world.
  • New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East countries.
  • The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the Watchung Mountains.
  • New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world. (Union, NJ!!!)
  • New Jersey had the first Medical Center, in Jersey City.
  • The Pulaski Skyway, from Jersey City to Newark, was the first skyway highway.
  • NJ built the first tunnel under a river, the Hudson. (Holland Tunnel).
  • The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ, which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra.
  • The first intercollegiate football game was played in New Brunswick i n 1889. (Rutgers College played Princeton.)
  • The first Drive-in Movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ.
  • New Jersey is home to both of “NEW YORK’S ” ProFootball Teams!
  • The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson, NJ.
  • All New Jersey natives:

    Sal Martorano, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifa, Susan Sarandon, Connie Francis, Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick, Sarah Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Sam Snyder, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, Marilynn McCoo, Flip Wilson, Alexander Hamilton, Whitney Houston, Eddie Money, Linda McElroy, Eileen Donnely, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman, Jerry Lewis, Tom Cruise, Richard Wojewodzki, Joyce Kilmer, Bruce Willis, Caesar Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T, Nick Adams, Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny DeVito, Sam Snyder, Richard Conti, Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Robert Blake, John Forsyth, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper, Admiral Wm. Halsey, Jr., Dave Thomas (Wendy’s), William Carlos Williams, Ray Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Paul Robeson, Ernie Kovacs, Joseph Macchia and of course………Frank Albert Sinatra and “Uncle Floyd” Vivino.

You know you’re from Jersey when….

  • You don’t think of fruit when people mention “The Oranges.”
  • You know that it’s called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.
  • A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.
  • You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
  • You’ve eaten at a Diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 a.m.
  • You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery.
  • At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen and you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
  • You know what a “jug handle” is.
  • You know that WaWa is a convenience store.
  • You know that the state isn’t all Newark. There is also the farmland, mountains and horse country.
  • You know that there are no “beaches” in New Jersey – there’s the shore and you don’t go to the shore, you go “down the Shore.” And when you are there, you’re not “at the shore,” you are “down the Shore.”
  • You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
  • You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving.
  • You know that this is the only “New…”state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it (like, try…Mexico,…York, …Hampshire – doesn’t work, does it?)
  • You know that a “White Castle” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
  • You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege.
  • You don’t think “What exit” is very funny.
  • You know that people from the 609 area code are “a little different.” Yes, they are!
  • You know that no respectable New Jerseyian goes to Princeton – that’s for out-of-staters.
  • The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. make that eagles-giants!
  • You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
  • You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
  • Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony.
  • You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.
  • You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. It can be no other way.
  • You weren’t raised in New Jersey — you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.
  • You don’t consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.
  • You remember the stores Korvette’s, Two Guys, Rickel’s, Channel, Bamburger’s and Orbach’s.
  • You’ve had a Boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries.
  • You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
  • And finally…

    You’ve NEVER, NEVER pumped your own gas.

  • Posted at 12:00 PM (EST)

    Leave a Reply