Browse Category: Music

Bronchospasmville

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Holiday greetings from Bronchospasmville!

“Hacking away again in Bronchospasmville….”

Ha! I hacked that Jimmy Buffet song and it will never be the same when you here it again! Ha! Hack!

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So yeah, yeah, yeah, I got the old bronchitis happening. I still don’t feel too bad. But breathing gets a little difficult once in a while.

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I had band practice tonight. Breathing got a little tough in a few of the heavy songs. But I made it through. We may have settled on a name for the band. I can’t tell you what it is yet though. We are going into the studio on Jan. 2 to record several songs for a demo CD. There is a possibility that we will be playing out for the first time in mid-January. I know. I know. I need to fill everyone in on more of the details related to how I got in this band and all. The fact is that I have something written already. But I’m looking for a certain old picture to use with the article. If I don’t find it this weekend I will put the article up without the picture. I promise.

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I actually started my Christmas shopping today. I got tiny little 4 inch tall teddy bears for each of my three girls. That’s it. Just three little bears. (Sorry, no Goldilocks in this story.) Maybe I’ll get a few more things this weekend. A candy cane or two. I still have plenty of time to shop! I have at least 5 days. And I only have to work 3 of those days! No problem.

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Well… I think that’s about it from Sammy Buffet. Bronchospasmville is closing for the evening. Last call! Belly up to the bar and take a shot of Albuterol. Y’all drive safe and y’all come back now!

Posted at 11:59 PM (EST) (sort of)

Bestiality Blues

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

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I was going to write a journal entry about how I’m feeling about the holidays this year. But I just don’t have the heart to do it. To tell the truth, I got the holiday blues. (If you read some of the entries below you may have picked up on that already.)

Speaking of the blues… I’m listening to one of the blues CDs that I got on Saturday while I’m writing this. I just heard the following lines in a song called “I’m a Woman” by Koko Taylor:

I’m a woman
I can make love to a crocodile
I’m a woman
I can sing the blues.

Uh… What?

Is that some kind of hardcore blues? Punk blues? Feminism blues? Bestiality blues?

Is that why women don’t notice me? I’m not “scaley” enough? Are all the good women taken and the rest out shagging crocs? No wonder I have the blues.

Well, rather than spreading those blues to all of you, I’m going to give you this photo of these snow men. They look happy. Don’t they? Who are they? Dr. Evil and Mini Me? Kid Rock and J. C.? Or maybe this is the North Pole episode of “Fantasy Island.” “Boss! De sleigh! De sleigh!”

That’s enough from me tonight. I need some sleep. I hope I don’t have bad dreams. Those Koko Taylor lyrics put a really nasty image in my mind.

Posted at 11:50 PM (EST)

Nothing

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Did you ever have one of those days that feel like nothing? There is nothing very significant that happens. There is nothing very important to take care of. Nothing. That’s how my day was today.

But you know that you don’t actually do NOTHING on days like this. Unless you are in a coma or something. You have to do SOMETHING.

So let me think about this. What did I actually do today?

First, I took my daughter to see the doctor. No big deal. But it gave me an opportunity to read.

So, I read numerous pages in “Hammer of the Gods.” It is interesting to see how American blues in the 1960s influenced many British rock artists. It is also interesting to see how many well known rock artists knew each other when they were young and starting out in various bands, sometimes playing together in the same bands, sometimes playing as session musicians on other groups’ recordings.

Next, my daughter and I went to the Spinning Wheel diner, had awesome sausage/potato/onion omelettes. Of course, we find plenty to laugh about when we are out like that. And they really should not seat us next to mirrors. We got a few looks from the “patrons” for being a little silly. Patrons. Bah.

Okay. Then I drove her to work. That’s it. Nothing funny or anything about that.

On my way back to the house, a friend of mine called and said she was nearby. So I went to meet her.

Since there are no Shop Rite stores where she lives, and she is addicted to diet Shop Rite cream soda (???), we went to Shop Rite. The place was packed. When did all of these stupid people move into my area? I mean heck! And people, let me just say, when you are making your way through a crowded aisle with only a small clear path to manuever through, DO NOT stop dead in your tracks to search through your purse for your coupons! I swear, the next time someone does that in front of me, I am dropping my cart into gear and running them right the heck over. Stupid people.

After the Shop Rite torture, we went to Circuit City for CDs and more torture. I picked up two blues CDs with various artists on them for less than $10. Deal! I saw a few artists on there that were mentioned in the book I’m reading. So I thought I would check them out. Little did I know that it would take forever and then some to check out at the cash register. My friend jumped into a different line. We each had about 4 people or so in front of us. She was all the way through with her things paid for and I was still standing in the same exact spot. They opened two other registers. So I jumped into one of them behind someone else. I had no idea that cashier was going to suddenly turn into Mr. I-Am-The-Slowest-Being-On-The-Planet! I saw that the other newly opened register had a clear line again. But when I started walking over, the girl there said, “Sorry. I’m closed again. They need me to help in the back.” I gave her that look that said, “If there were not quite so many witnesses here, you know I would rip your friggin voice box right out of your useless throat!” Since my day was nothing anyway, I just went back to where I started and waited.

Well, then I went home. I played my drums for a while. Ate a bagel. Ate a piece of peach pie. Read some more. Just nothing. Then I fell asleep for about three hours and woke up just in time to write about nothing and post it on the website before the end of the day so that I feel like I did SOMETHING.

Posted at 11:40 PM (EST)

It’s Not Often That I Use the Word “Naugahyde”

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

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Now doesn’t that look comfortable? All comfy inside a sleeping bag with a nice soft pillow, sipping on Kool-Aid and not even needing to hold it.

Well, that will be me in a few minutes. Only I’ll be snuggled in bed with my favorite comforter and my own pillow. I’ve been feeling “migrainy” all day. I haven’t gotten the big bad headache yet. But I’ve felt “out of it” all day. I’ve been pretty spacey all day. More than usual. I’m weak and dizzy. Lots of tension in my neck and shoulders. Nauseous. Normally my migraines start with the blind spots for about 20 minutes. Then I get the bad headache and all the rest of the symptoms. Today it all feels backwards.

So I’m throwing a few words up here on the ol’ website before I finally poop out.

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Speaking of throwing up…

While consulting the dictionary to find out how to spell nauseous, a few words caught my eye.

Do you know what “nautch” is?

Nautch – “an entertainment in India consisting chiefly of dancing by professional dancing girls.”

Also on this page…

Naugahyde – “a trademark name used for vinyl-coated fabrics.”

Nauganautch – “an Indian entertainment featuring professional dancers in low budget costumes.”

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On the music scene…

While writing this I am listening to the Grateful Dead’s “Workingman’s Dead.” Believe it or not, this is the very first Grateful Dead album I have EVER listened to! My good friend, Pete Martin, let me borrow it along with some Lyle Lovett CDs. I am definitely not a Dead Head. Nope. Sorry. But then again… with this impending migraine…

Lately, in the car, I’ve been listening through all of my Led Zeppelin CDs. I don’t know. I get in the mood once in a while and end up listening through all the albums for certain bands.

I’ve also been reading a book about Zeppelin called “Hammer of the Gods” by Stephen Davis. I haven’t gotten very far into it yet. It begins with what amounts to a disclaimer of all the wild rumors about the band. “Oh, no, no! They never did this! They never really did that! And they certainly didn’t do that thing with the dead shark and the under age girl! Stairways to heaven, NO!” I don’t know. It just kind of makes me believe it all the more.

Reading books like these is just mindless entertainment at this point. My brain can’t handle anything heavy duty right now.

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Let’s see… What else?

Should I tell you about how I got a tip from a friend about a cute girl at a certain business near our office? And about how my nervousness turned me into a bumbling idiot when I went there and actually spoke to her? About the way I asked stupid questions about their services and prices just to try to engage her in conversation? No, I don’t think I will tell you that. That would be embarrassing.

Her name is April. At least I managed to ask what her name was without stuttering too much. She didn’t ask for my name. It’s probably best if she doesn’t know at this point. She would only make really bad mental associations right now. “Sam… starts with S… like… STUPID… STUTTER… STALKER…”

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Obviously… my last brain cell is fading quickly…

Pillow time…

Posted at 8:30 PM (EST)

Irsty?

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

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IRSTY?

Maybe what we need around here is another photo of a few cute girls. What do you think? Isn’t that better than some of yesterday’s photos? Unless you really dig salad, Spanish booze and my stinky old sneakers! To each his own. But I’d rather see cute girls any day.

No, I’m not going to tell you who they are or give any phone numbers out. They’re my girls! Well, at least one of them is.

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In other news…

I managed to run at lunchtime today. Curse the Spanish booze! Ironman and Spanish-brandy-man cannot inhabit the same body. Somebody has to go.

The girl who sits next to me at work ran today! Our goal is to run each day this week. It would be nice to run the whole course we set out without stopping.

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“Hey pig…” Today’s backgound music is Nine Inch Nails. No, I didn’t just call you pig. Don’t take it personally. Pigs have feelings too, you know.

Posted at 4:00 PM (EST)