(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

This just in, ladies and gentlemen! Someone can relate to the sea gull dropping story! (“Don’t Lose that Number”) Yes, a victim of sea gull bowel unloading has come forward to share her story. In her own words she relates the trauma:

“It happened one time on my arm and it was seriously hot like an egg from a pan! It really was! And I was like, ‘their bellies must be steaming!’ It slapped down from the skies up above like hot as an egg off a pan! It was hot from his inner belly!”

There you have it folks! A word from someone who has been there and back!

Now beware the next time you are at the beach! Not only do you have to worry about getting excessively burned by the sun. Now you have to worry about being scorched by steaming sea gull poop! Put on a double dose of sunscreen lotion! Wear long sleeves! For heaven’s sake, if you are bald, be sure to wear a hat! Maybe wearing a helmet would be appropriate! If the sky begins to darken, you better run for your life and take cover. It may not be clouds. It just may be a flock of angry sea gulls carrying payloads of digested crustaceans, hot as molten lava!

Posted at 7:00 AM (EST)