The Best Laid Plans

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“The best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.” So said Robert Burns, apparently “to a mouse.”

“The best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry… and sometimes they get absolutely crushed and the universe leaves you feeling like a turd.” So says Sam Snyder to whomever wants to listen, be he vermin or otherwise.

Such crushing happens when a migraine strikes. It makes it extremely difficult to maintain one’s plans when one feels like they can barely put one foot in front of the other. When you can’t move your feet properly, it becomes darn hard to run! This is how my running plans went awry yesterday.

With my new focus on more frequent running, I had plans to run yesterday and a pocketful of motivation to go with them. Even though I woke up at 3:30 AM with a migraine in progress, I still held onto hope that I would power through and run at lunchtime. I worked from home because I had way too much to do after being off for New Years. I thought about taking the day off and lying in bed in my misery. But that usually doesn’t help me when I have a migraine. Usually I can’t sleep. It seems better to work through my misery than to lie in it.

By the time lunch rolled around my pocketful of motivation was greatly diminished, as was my physical energy and my optimism toward life in general. It just wasn’t going to happen.

So, I planned to run at 4 PM when work was done.

At 4 PM there was a giant gaping hole in my pocket of motivation.

At that point I decided it would be torturous to run while feeling so ill. I have done it before. The first time was 3 years ago, as indicated in the picture attached to this article. That was a training run. For a long time, I knew I had to one day run with a migraine to see what happened. Nothing happened. The only difference was that, instead of being a lump of human refuse, I became a sweaty lump of human refuse. It didn’t do any harm. It didn’t do any good. I have also run two 5Ks with a migraine… because why waste my prepaid registration fees? At the first one I won first place in my age group. The other 50 year-olds must have been on crutches or something. I ran the second race because there was pizza served at the end. I would do nearly anything for pizza.

So as to not have my plans completely spoiled yesterday, I decided to walk at 5:30 PM. It was 18 degrees and felt like 4 with the wind. I figured that I felt so bad already, what big deal would it make to add frostbite to my condition? So, I walked a 5K. It didn’t do any harm. It didn’t do any good.

Having gotten a little exercise in, I ordered a pizza for myself. Like I said, I would do nearly anything for pizza, especially when I have a migraine. I don’t know what causes it but when I have a migraine I almost always end up craving pizza. It’s all I could think about on my walk. When I had 15 minutes of walking left, I called in an order for a large pie. The pizza guy said, “Give me about 15 minutes.” I said, “Perfect!” This part of the day went exactly according to plan! I ate 7 slices. No longer was I merely a lump of human refuse. I was a mound of it.

To sum up: My plans were severely altered thanks to a migraine. I did get a little exercise in. Then I promptly obliterated any benefit from said exercise by eating enough pizza for 3 1/2 people. Yes, yes, I did.

Today, I did better with my eating and ended the day with calories to spare. Plus, I ran 4 miles at lunchtime. It was a good run. My energy was a bit on the low side after the migraine. But I got out there and made a good effort of working off one of those slices of pizza.

While the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, we must remember that this is sometimes because God loves us and wants us to eat more pizza.

Onward and Upward in 2016

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My first run of 2016 is in the books. Rather, it’s in the Excel spreadsheet.

The stats: 5 miles on the local high school track. 1.5 mile warm up run. 1 mile of easy to moderate 100 meter intervals. 2 miles of moderate to intense 100m intervals. Two easy laps for a .5 mile cool down. Plus a 1 mile walk to and from the school.

I definitely feel the weight hanging on me. It felt good to run as hard as possible to try to shake some of that lard off.

While I was at the track there were two young guys intensely practicing passing and receiving with a football, a young lacrosse player half-heartedly lobbing a ball back and forth with a man (Coach? Dad?), a couple of boys happily kicking a soccer ball into a net, and one other middle-aged comrade lugging himself around the track. There was also a girls soccer team practicing with two older male coaches. One of the coaches, the one with the English accent, frequently called out, “DAGNABBIT!!” As in, “DAGNABBIT, ANNA, GET WITH THE PROGRAM!” Or, “CHERYL! DAGNABBIT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO FIELD THE BALL!! DAGNABBIT!” I laughed to myself every time he yelled it.

My wife was done with her workout and had lunch prepared by the time I got home: salad with chickpeas and vinaigrette dressing, lentil soup, and a ham sandwich with fat-free American cheese. We both said, “Food tastes so much better after running!” You can’t argue with that, dagnabbit!

Onward and upward in 2016! (Or onward and downward as far as my weight goes!)

Geeking Out – My 2015 Running Stats

2015 Running Stats
2015 Running Stats

Seeing as 2015 just ended, I spent time updating my yearly running stats spreadsheet today. Yes, I am that much of a geek. However, while keeping a spreadsheet might make one a geek, if one does not evaluate said spreadsheet, one might not become a better runner… and one is not much of a geek either. So, I ran the numbers today.

It turns out, I ran on only 68 out of 365 days. That’s only 18.6% of the days of the entire year.

My total mileage was 420 miles. That averages out to 6.17 miles, basically a 10K, for each of my 68 days of running. Sounds good, but there were far too few occurrences of running.

To be fair to myself, I have to state that 61 of these running days occurred over 8 months, April through November. January through March, I ran only 5 times due to an injury. (In December, I ran only twice due to laziness.) Without the injury, I might have run maybe 20 more times, based on the monthly running occurrences average during my 8 good months. That would have brought my yearly percentage of running days up to 24%, still not great, but better.

Also on the positive side, I ran 21 races in 2015. 5 half marathons, 3 10Ks, 5 5-milers, 1 3.8 mile trail race, 10 5Ks. Twice I ran a 5K and 10K on the same day. Here’s my list of races:

2015 Races
2015 Races – Click to enlarge.

I am satisfied with completing 21 races through the year, especially the 4 half marathons in close proximity to each other in the Fall. (More on these races HERE.) But I am not satisfied with my overall running experience through the year. Given the fact that I found myself in a total slump after Thanksgiving and 7 pound heavier at the end of the year, I need a different running strategy for 2016.

The first idea that comes to mind is that I need to run more frequently. I need to get my motor running more often. In 2015, my focus was primarily on distance: long distance runs for the sake of multiple half marathons. But I think it that caused me to run less often due to psychological and physical challenges. Long runs also left me hungry for the rest of the day, ravenously so on some days. Without more frequent episodes of running, I often consumed more calories than I burned off for any given week. That explains the phenomenon of running 5 half marathons and not losing any weight. Running more frequently would get my motor running and burn calories more consistently.

So, going back to the numbers. 68 running days averages out to 1.3 per week. I plan to double that by running 3 times per week. If I do that, it will work out to 156 running days. If I focus on running only 3 miles each time, the mileage will work out to 468 miles, very close to my 2015 miles. To make each run more beneficial, I will put more emphasis on time spent on each run rather than the mileage. 45 to 60 minutes per session will be beneficial for fitness and weight loss, provided I can keep the Ring Dings out of my mouth. (More on Ring Dings HERE.) 45 to 60 minutes will give me 4 to 5 miles per run. 156 X 4 = 624 miles. Not too shabby. 156 X 5 = 780. Not shabby at all!

In addition, I need to add more speed work, intervals, hill repeats, etc. to my running sessions. I need to throw in some strength training. Do a squat or two. Maybe a plank now and then. I plan on doing races through 2016, probably not as many as 21 this year. A few half marathons in the Spring and a few in the Fall with a handful of 5 and 10Ks sprinkled in will be good. But my focus will be on running frequency, strength, speed, weight loss, and enjoyment. I want to finish 2016 being faster, stronger, happier, and with significantly more rows in my 2016 spreadsheet.

You know what I’d like to be?

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Holden Caufield: “You know what I’d like to be? I mean if I had my goddam choice?”

Phoebe Caufield: “What?  Stop swearing.”

“You know that song ‘If a body catch a body comin’ through the rye’?  I’d like – ”

“It’s ‘If a body meet a body coming through the rye’!” old Phoebe said.  “It’s a poem.  By Robert Burns.”

“I know it’s a poem by Robert Burns.”

She was right, though.  It is “If a body meet a body coming through the rye.”  I didn’t know it then, though.

“I thought it was ‘If a body catch a body,'” I said.  “Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all.  Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me.  And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.  That’s all I’d do all day.  I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.  I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be.  I know It’s crazy.”

Sam Snyder:  “That’s not crazy in my book, Holden.  Not crazy at all.”