The Things People Search On – #2

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Time for another installment of search results.

Lately, a lot of people have been searching for “rainy day pictures” and finding my Rainy Day Pictures. I figure these must be the really depressed people in our society. Also, I’ve had a lot of people searching for the lyrics to “Black Water” by the Doobie Brothers. (See “Don’t Lose that Number”.) Is there some sort of Doobie revival going on or something? I’ve had several visitors of late who have looked through the complete set of The Daily Chia pictures. These are the really bored people in our society.

One thing that certain people in our society search for a lot is “dirty pictures.” There are variations to this: “dirty photos,” “dirty picture gallery,” “dirty thumbnails,” and even “dirty frog pictures.” Hmmm. I would love to see the eagerness draining from their faces when the images on My Dirty Pictures begin to load! What a “dirty” rat I am! What a “dirty” sense of humor! (Yes, this photo gallery is safe for viewers of all ages. It’s purpose is only to annoy the “dirty” among the visitors.)

Now for a list of some funny, strange, and otherwise interesting search criteria.

Search Criteria Destination
smbluebulletGeeky Programmer Picture smbluebullet“Last Week in Java Class”
smbluebulletRubber Chicken Juggling smbluebullet“Finkledorff, Finkledorff, Where Have You Been?”
smbluebulletI am a sissy.  I am a 15 year old girl. smbluebullet“Everyday Stuff”
smbluebulletSmoking Oysters smbluebullet“The Oyster and the Personality Test”
smbluebulletMy First Fist Fight smbluebullet“I Blame Carole King:  The Evil Influences of my Mother’s Music”
smbluebulletBirthday Belt Spankings smbluebullet“Pitching Quoits and Raising Teenagers”
smbluebulletBirthday Boy Spankings Pictures smbluebullet“Pitching Quoits and Raising Teenagers”
smbluebulletSpankings by Mom smbluebullet“Pitching Quoits and Raising Teenagers”
smbluebulletOuch Spankings smbluebullet“Pitching Quoits and Raising Teenagers”
smbluebulletSpankings Hurt smbluebullet“Pitching Quoits and Raising Teenagers”
smbluebulletTango Underwear smbluebullet“Buffalo Before Breakfast, Twizzlers Before Lunch”
smbluebulletPatricia Whack smbluebullet“With a Knick Knack Paddy Whack”
smbluebulletWhoopie Cushions smbluebullet“Caught by Surprise”
smbluebulletBiggest Thighs smbluebullet“Old Photos”
smbluebulletYellow Submarine Captain smbluebullet“Snowbound in a Yellow Submarine”
smbluebulletTalking Backwards While Sleeping smbluebullet“A Mother’s Day Letter”
smbluebulletThree Sheets to the Wind smbluebullet“The Battle of Snydersburg”
smbluebulletWhere to Find Pilgrim Girls Clothes smbluebullet“Buffalo Before Breakfast, Twizzlers Before Lunch”
smbluebulletHow Did Gene Simmons Get

Such a Long Tongue?

 smbluebullet“When We Were Rock Stars”
smbluebulletAstronauts Who Traveled to Space smbluebullet“Of Astronauts and Mountain Climbers”

Posted at 2:20 PM (EST)

An Irish Thing

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Going to see THIS band tonight! Yeah, it’s an Irish thing. You know, we Irish were the ones who invented rock-n-roll. Yup! What do you think the Blarney Stone is all about? Yeah, it’s a rock-n-roll thing!

In other news…

I’ve been down with a nasty, snotty cold for about 10 days now. Nothing but hacking and gagging and sputtering. (Sorry, no picture available.)

Also…

New Jersey has turned into a big snowy, rainy, unfriendly kind of place for the last few weeks. So I haven’t gotten any bike riding in lately. Hey, did you hear about my big bike accident? Too bad we don’t have video footage of this one! Classic! I so gracefully launched myself right over the ol’ handle bars. No, that’s not an Irish thing! This comes from the minority of Polish genes that run in the family. I think they’ve leached upon my nervous system and sucked the coordination right out of me. But here’s the good thing. I was going uphill when I fell. (Only Polacks fall uphill!) There is an advantage to falling uphill. The road meets you half way! That’s a good thing once you are over 25 like me. **cough** I won’t tell you exactly what caused the crash. Let me just say… Don’t take your shirt off and tie it to your handle bars. Trust me. Just don’t do it.

Okay. That’s it for now. Blog ya later.

Posted at 4:00 PM (EST)

Priceless

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Traffic ticket while rushing to airport: $44

Supplies from Staples to “play school”: $26

The opportunity to act like nuts at Perkins: PRICELESS!

See pics below.

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Posted at 10:35 PM (EST)

Brushburns

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

There are those of the human species whose mission in life is to annoy, irritate, peeve, irk and provoke. Indeed, their singular function in this world is to give linguists a reason to include such words as splinter, boil, burr, and brush-burn in our English dictionaries.

Or so one may often be tempted to believe.

Posted at 7:55 PM (EST)

What happened to you??

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Give me codeine or give me death!

Isn’t it something how one can become so fond of narcotics when they can’t breath, ache all over, cough like they have emphysema, and just basically feel like crap?

I was convinced to go to a doctor today when a female co-worker took one look at me and exclaimed, “Oh my God!! What happened to you?? You look awful!!” Now, I’ve gotten that reaction from a few women over the years. And several others never really vocalized it. But I could see what they were thinking in their eyes. Yet, I think this co-worker was genuinely concerned about my health and not just simply repulsed by my looks.

What does the doctor say?

Pretty much nothing that I didn’t already know! For the most part he just echoed everything I told him. He basically agreed that I look and feel like I got hit by a rather large vehicle, charged me $15, and sent me off to the pharmacy… with a prescription for narcotics!

“Dude! Thanks for hookin’ me up, man!”

Posted at 8:55 PM (EST)