Was That About God?

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Sometimes, when I write an article like this or like this, people want to know who it is about. For people who know me a little more personally, there may be enough clues in the article to cause them to think that they know who it is about. I admit that I do it on purpose to make people wonder. Very rarely do I tell very many people who these articles are about. Once I had an ex-girlfriend email me and ask who an article was about. (One day I’ll have to write an article about ex-girlfriends getting all weird when reading my stuff. Maybe I will even write about one who used a different email address and had me fooled for a short time.)

Well, today someone called me and asked about my recent entry “Sometimes, When It Snows.”

Before I go on, let me say that if you have not read that entry, go read it now before you read the rest of this passage. If you read the rest of this, it might spoil the entry for you. So go on! Scoot on over there and read. I’ll be right here waiting…

So, this friend calls me on the phone at work this afternoon and says, “Hey! That article you wrote about missing someone when it snows… Was that about God?”

Oh man! I nearly choked from laughing so hard! Check out some of the lines from the article and just imagine me saying these things to or about GOD…

“You held my arm so that you would not fall on the steps, then waited for me to open the door for you.” – What? Is God a shriveled up little old lady now?

“Not knowing where to begin or which important thing would mean the most to you, I asked if you were warm enough and comfortable. Maybe that meant the most to you after all.” – Yup! That is exactly what God is waiting to hear from all of us. Forgot about, “Praise You, Lord, for you are so awesome and holy!” Nevermind, “Father, I thank You for all of Your many blessings.” Don’t even bother praying, “Lord, lead us not into temptation.” Just ask Him if He is warm and comfortable.

“I remember periods of time when it was difficult for you to smile and days when you didn’t smile at all. For a time, it was my mission to make you smile.” – Poor God! So sad! If it wasn’t for me, He wouldn’t have smiled at all.

“I guess it was that foolish assumption that you would always be there that left me wide open to the harsh certainty of reality… Even you, you who made it feel like the world had stopped and I could rest for ever when you were near, have gone. Is life designed for love or for sorrow primarily?” – You know… sadly… I think some people really do say such things about God. Or maybe they don’t actually say them, but they feel them. They feel abandoned and alone. Facing the stark, cold realities of life… just like being stranded out there in the snow. Well, I understand that too. I know what that feels like.

But none of these lines were written to God. They were simply written to another person who I was close to for some time. I am disappointed that this person didn’t stay in touch like I thought they would. I feel somewhat hurt. I still miss her.

Posted at 11:45 PM (EST)

It’s Not Often That I Use the Word “Naugahyde”

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

20031210mkoolaid

Now doesn’t that look comfortable? All comfy inside a sleeping bag with a nice soft pillow, sipping on Kool-Aid and not even needing to hold it.

Well, that will be me in a few minutes. Only I’ll be snuggled in bed with my favorite comforter and my own pillow. I’ve been feeling “migrainy” all day. I haven’t gotten the big bad headache yet. But I’ve felt “out of it” all day. I’ve been pretty spacey all day. More than usual. I’m weak and dizzy. Lots of tension in my neck and shoulders. Nauseous. Normally my migraines start with the blind spots for about 20 minutes. Then I get the bad headache and all the rest of the symptoms. Today it all feels backwards.

So I’m throwing a few words up here on the ol’ website before I finally poop out.

* * * * *
Speaking of throwing up…

While consulting the dictionary to find out how to spell nauseous, a few words caught my eye.

Do you know what “nautch” is?

Nautch – “an entertainment in India consisting chiefly of dancing by professional dancing girls.”

Also on this page…

Naugahyde – “a trademark name used for vinyl-coated fabrics.”

Nauganautch – “an Indian entertainment featuring professional dancers in low budget costumes.”

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On the music scene…

While writing this I am listening to the Grateful Dead’s “Workingman’s Dead.” Believe it or not, this is the very first Grateful Dead album I have EVER listened to! My good friend, Pete Martin, let me borrow it along with some Lyle Lovett CDs. I am definitely not a Dead Head. Nope. Sorry. But then again… with this impending migraine…

Lately, in the car, I’ve been listening through all of my Led Zeppelin CDs. I don’t know. I get in the mood once in a while and end up listening through all the albums for certain bands.

I’ve also been reading a book about Zeppelin called “Hammer of the Gods” by Stephen Davis. I haven’t gotten very far into it yet. It begins with what amounts to a disclaimer of all the wild rumors about the band. “Oh, no, no! They never did this! They never really did that! And they certainly didn’t do that thing with the dead shark and the under age girl! Stairways to heaven, NO!” I don’t know. It just kind of makes me believe it all the more.

Reading books like these is just mindless entertainment at this point. My brain can’t handle anything heavy duty right now.

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Let’s see… What else?

Should I tell you about how I got a tip from a friend about a cute girl at a certain business near our office? And about how my nervousness turned me into a bumbling idiot when I went there and actually spoke to her? About the way I asked stupid questions about their services and prices just to try to engage her in conversation? No, I don’t think I will tell you that. That would be embarrassing.

Her name is April. At least I managed to ask what her name was without stuttering too much. She didn’t ask for my name. It’s probably best if she doesn’t know at this point. She would only make really bad mental associations right now. “Sam… starts with S… like… STUPID… STUTTER… STALKER…”

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Obviously… my last brain cell is fading quickly…

Pillow time…

Posted at 8:30 PM (EST)

Mutual of Sammyha’s Wild Kingdom

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

20031209omaha

Welcome to the show! Are you old enough to remember when Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom was on television on Sunday nights? I believe it was on right before the Wonderful World of Disney.

And now… your hosts for this evening’s show…

20031209samPerkins

Marlin Perkins and… some strange guy…

And now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let’s explore our planet’s wildlife… Go ahead and click on the pictures to see almost but not quite life size versions of these ferocious critters. Don’t be scared! They aren’t real. They are just digital images taken by the nut job who runs this website.

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20031209dove2

Oh look! It’s the New Jersey Single-eyed Dove! Don’t get too close! She’ll pluck your eye out ’cause she has eye envy. You have two good eyes and she only has one. This particular species of carnivorous dove lives right in Mom’s back yard!

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20031209bunny3

“Oh, it’s just a harmless little bunny, isn’t it?”

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20031209buck1

Shhh! It doesn’t take much to scare off this majestic looking fellow. It’s amazing that he even posed for as long as he did when our car came to a screeching halt on this country road and we jumped out and clicked his picture!

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20031209cows2

Moving along down another country road, what do we have here?

“Set! 22! 59! Hike!”

Nah! I’m just kidding! They aren’t really playing football! But it does make one wonder why they are standing in such a formation. And it reminds me of my cow tipping days when I was just a little lad growing up here in Omaha. Just push the one on the top of the hill over and they will all tumble like dominoes! What fun! Cowminoes! (Is a “cowmino” really the same thing as a “calf”? Hmm… Something is a little fishy here…)

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20031209roosterHydrant

Since we are on the farm now, let’s take a look at this proud fellow. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Is he thinking what we are thinking? Can roosters hike their legs?

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20031209squirrel

Oh man! Uh… Ah… We better move along folks. I kinda put a picture of his dead brother on the internet. Oh boy! I think he recognizes me! Ya never know about these guys! They can be kinda squirrely! Come on… Move along now…

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20031209pigeons

Oh look! No, up there! It’s a Northeastern Hop Pigeon! See how he looks just like an ordinary pigeon yet only has one leg! These fellows are not very common. But now and then you might spot one in cities such as Manhattan.

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20031209mantis006

What? Oh, splendid! You found a mantis! A big one too! Thank you for your participation!

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20031209slug

Well… Our time is up now everyone. But wait! Look who just arrived! (No, that is not another salad picture.) It’s Mr. Slug! Slow and slimy wins the race! Right?

Thank you for tuning in, my friends!

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(This show has been brought to you by Just-Needed-Something-To-Write-About Productions in association with Utterly Ridiculous Web Writers Omynous.)

Posted at 11:15 PM (EST)

Irsty?

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

20031208sj

IRSTY?

Maybe what we need around here is another photo of a few cute girls. What do you think? Isn’t that better than some of yesterday’s photos? Unless you really dig salad, Spanish booze and my stinky old sneakers! To each his own. But I’d rather see cute girls any day.

No, I’m not going to tell you who they are or give any phone numbers out. They’re my girls! Well, at least one of them is.

* * * * *
In other news…

I managed to run at lunchtime today. Curse the Spanish booze! Ironman and Spanish-brandy-man cannot inhabit the same body. Somebody has to go.

The girl who sits next to me at work ran today! Our goal is to run each day this week. It would be nice to run the whole course we set out without stopping.

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“Hey pig…” Today’s backgound music is Nine Inch Nails. No, I didn’t just call you pig. Don’t take it personally. Pigs have feelings too, you know.

Posted at 4:00 PM (EST)

At Least 50 Words

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

20031206snowViewFromMyRoom

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS…

But I only need to write 50 words to meet my Holidailies commitment! For lack of a good solid topic to write a full journal entry, allow me to give you a little overview of my weekend. I’m sure I will exceed 50 words and everyone will get their money’s worth!

The photo above is the view from the window right next to my bed. Since I occupy the room formerly known as the attic, the ceilings are slanted and the windows are low to the floor. Plus, since I have the single-guy-mattress-on-the-floor bedding arrangement, all you have to do is roll over and peak out from behind the shade to see what kind of a day it is out there. But if “you” were to do so, I suppose there would be some question as to what “you” are doing in my bed in the first place! I know some of “you” personally. And… uh… well I don’t want to think about it! (Talk about an interesting journal entry!) But if “you” happen to be Meg Ryan, or maybe Gwen Stefani, give me a call and I’ll set up a time to give you a view from my window “again.”

All seriousness aside, folks…

This was the view on Saturday around noon. It was snowing hard at that time. We ended up with at least 10 inches here.

There are two things that caught my eye in this picture. The one is a chimney in the foreground which is covered with several inches of snow. Obviously, there is no heat coming through it. It struck me as an odd sight. The other thing that got my attention is that you can see a portion of the diner that my grandparents used to own. It is on the left side of the picture, above the middle, in front of the large dark building, which is the old theater building. The diner has a red border around the top. One day I will have to write of some of the times there. My grandparents build the original diner there long before I was born. They retired and sold the diner right after I graduated from high school. So, the diner and my grandparents were a huge part of my life growing up. Some day I’ll fill you in.

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20031207salad

Incidentally… I just made myself a killer salad before starting to write this. Lettuce, carrots, green peppers, grape tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, broccoli, tuna, croutons, and Ken’s balsamic vinegarette. Mmmm….

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Oh yeah… you can click on any of these pictures to enlarge them. If you want to…

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20031207sneaks

I thought about running on Saturday even though it was snowing. I ran in the snow on Friday. It’s very cool. But it just didn’t happen on Saturday. First, I slept until noon just to catch up on some much needed rest. Then I had that I-think-I-slept-too-much feeling in my head all day. I took S to work and T to a friend’s house. I went to Wal-Mart and bought a low priced (sounds better than “cheap,” huh?) pair of boots. The old pair of dress shoes from Payless just did not meet the challenge of the blizzard. Then I did a little food shopping. All the while I was hoping to get the motivation to actually run. Around 7 PM I got sucked in by the boob tube and watched, of all the worthless things, some dumb show about Michael Jackson.

However, after that a show about the Iron Man competition came on. “Watching” people swim 2.4 miles, then bike 121 miles, then run a marathon is almost as good as running myself, right? I was exhausted by the end of the show at 9 PM. Besides, that bag of M&Ms just wouldn’t leave me alone! And the Ponche Caballero…

I did run on Sunday afternoon. But I regretted sleeping late again. And I cursed every M&M that ever entered my mouth. And the Ruffles potato chips! And the Ponche Caballero…

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20031207ponche

Ah!!! The Ponche Cabarello! Delicious!

A super friend of mine from Virginia introduced me to Ponche Cabarello a while back. Nectar of the gods! Her brother brought it home from Spain. Neither she nor he could find more of it here in the States. She even went to Mexico recently and didn’t find it there either.

Yesterday, I stopped at a liquor store in my town to pick up a bottle of Yellow Tail Chardonney. I was also looking around for a certain Polish vodka that the guitarist in my band was talking about. I can’t remember its name. I turned to look at the shelf on the opposite side of the aisle from the vodka. There… at eye level… there it was… silver bottle… yellow label… Ponche Cabarello! “No F-ing way!” I called my friend in Virginia and told her. Then I bought the three bottles on the shelf.

Good, good stuff! It’s an orange liqueur, sort of like a brandy. Smooth. Excellent on the rocks. Excellent while writing. Excellent while listening to…

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20031207music

Tonight’s weblog soundtrack brought to you courtesy of Aerosmith. Usually, I write with some kind of rock music blasting. Come to think of it… I do most things with some kind of rock music blasting! Lately while writing I’ve been listening through my Aerosmith collection. At this very moment, 9:07 PM, “Toys in the Attic” is on.

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20031207drums

Speaking of toys in the attic… I did manage to squeeze in a little bit of practicing tonight. It was nearly as much as I should practice. Even if it’s only for a short time, it always feels good to play. Listening to Aerosmith right now sure brings back many memories of first learning to play and days of practicing after school for hours and hours. I used to put a stack of records on (especially Aerosmith) and play my brains out. Sometimes I played until my fingers bled. Sometimes I hated myself for not being able to play everything on the records to perfection. That’s the point of practicing though, keep at it until you love yourself again. Then you know you will do a good job at a show and not hate yourself for being a breathing embarrassment.

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20031207books

The only thing I love more than music is reading. This weekend I finished reading “Bloodclots in the Mainstream” by Rob Santello. He toured with the Bouncing Souls and was their merchandising representative. It was an interesting book, despite the fact that the author’s viewpoint was a little too negative for my liking. So, to balance things out, I started reading “The Phantom Tollbooth” by Norton Juster. My kids had to read this book when they were in fifth or sixth grade. I always wanted to read it. Now I have good motivation to do so as it is this month’s book for the TUS book club.

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20031207dinner

The weekend culminated with a great dinner of swiss steaks with onions, peppers and crushed tomatoes (nicely seasoned by Mom), along with fresh green beans and mashed potatoes (peeled and cut by T). Mmmm! Mmmm!

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20031207movies

Lastly, I picked up a few movies this weekend. “The Usual Suspects” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” The totally cool and the totally geeky! I watched “The Usual Suspects” with Mom last night. I started “Close Encounters” but didn’t have time to finish it. Now, I hear the T has just started watching “The Suspects.” I can’t resist watching. I wrote at least 50 words today, right? Right. Okay, later!

Posted at 10:15 PM (EST)