Their Bellies Must Be Steaming!

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(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

This just in, ladies and gentlemen! Someone can relate to the sea gull dropping story! (“Don’t Lose that Number”) Yes, a victim of sea gull bowel unloading has come forward to share her story. In her own words she relates the trauma:

“It happened one time on my arm and it was seriously hot like an egg from a pan! It really was! And I was like, ‘their bellies must be steaming!’ It slapped down from the skies up above like hot as an egg off a pan! It was hot from his inner belly!”

There you have it folks! A word from someone who has been there and back!

Now beware the next time you are at the beach! Not only do you have to worry about getting excessively burned by the sun. Now you have to worry about being scorched by steaming sea gull poop! Put on a double dose of sunscreen lotion! Wear long sleeves! For heaven’s sake, if you are bald, be sure to wear a hat! Maybe wearing a helmet would be appropriate! If the sky begins to darken, you better run for your life and take cover. It may not be clouds. It just may be a flock of angry sea gulls carrying payloads of digested crustaceans, hot as molten lava!

Posted at 7:00 AM (EST)

THE GUMBY and POKEY FISH PATROL

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Another scene from my desk… with a little bit of a modern art makeover…

THE GUMBY and POKEY FISH PATROL

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Posted at 7:00 AM (EST)

The Chicks Dig It

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(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

One of my favorite things to do is watch people. Another favorite thing of mine is to take their pictures when they are not looking! Here is a picture from my “people files.” He’s the Cycle Peep, delivering Chinese food in Brooklyn, a motorized fashion statement, the epitome of coolness, the envy of the Hells Angels, cruising at speeds that only packaging tape and loafers can withstand. I bet the chicks really dig this guy. The word is that chicks are into yellow helmets and flaming maroon scooters.

Posted at 3:50 PM (EST)

Stupid and Goofy

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

There are certain people that you can be “yourself” around. You can be stupid and goofy without worrying about the fact that you are being stupid and goofy. You can laugh over things which the rest of the world might label you as immature for laughing at. And you don’t give a flying flip if they do call you immature, because you and your silly friend both know that it’s the rest of the world that’s crazy, not the two of you!

I have a friend like this. Often, we exchange insane emails through the day, call each other names, respond by writing what the other person wrote – only backwards, send goofy pictures as responses. Sometimes she and I talk over the phone while we are at work. But that is dangerous! When you are sitting in the middle of a relatively quiet cube farm, it is really hard to hold the laughter in while someone is on the other end of the line making strange noises and such. The human anatomy is not designed to withstand the pressure of repressed laughter. That’s how people lose their spleens.

Here is a recent email exchange that helped this Silly Girl and I make it through an afternoon. If you have a warped sense of humor you will get a kick out of it. If not… well, go take a flying flip right off my weblog then! (Just make sure you don’t hurt yourself. And come back tomorrow.)

dinoME: Hey Baby, here are the pics I used for the speech. The one of us making faces is in there too. I think there are 10 or 11 pics. The speech went well. It was cool because I projected the pictures onto a giant screen in the auditorium. So there was this jumbo picture of me making a horrendous face.
fairy3SILLY GIRL: cool

dinoME: looc
fairy3SILLY GIRL: boof

dinoME: I just had an image of someone pummeling another person with a colon tied off on both ends like a balloon. Heh heh!
fairy3SILLY GIRL: ewwww sounds gross

dinoME: sounds like “boof”
fairy3SILLY GIRL: BOF

dinoME: Beasty Old Fem
fairy3SILLY GIRL: Boys Oogling Freaks

dinoME: Boys Obtruding Farts
fairy3SILLY GIRL: HA HA! Big Ostrich Farts

dinoME: Bleeding Osteo Ferosis
fairy3SILLY GIRL: Bloody Oreo Fix

dinoME: You win! That one’s the best! Sounds like some English chick who’s desperate for her tea and cookies!
fairy3SILLY GIRL: I’m the weiner!

(Images found at Animation Factory.)

Posted at 4:30 PM (EST)