DANCES WITH SNOGIES

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(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

LAST NIGHT we had our first substantial snowfall of the winter. We got at least six inches. Maybe more. I was at my Dad’s house. We were watching the Oakland Raiders play against the New York Jets. Football is something that I rarely watch these days. I don’t watch sports much. Come to think of it, I don’t watch much of anything on television. It was good to watch the Raiders though. It brought back a lot of memories. They were my team when I was a kid. Somewhere in the middle of the second quarter, the snow began to fall. The ground was covered almost instantly. It sure made for slippery driving conditions.

Given the treacherous, life-threatening roadway conditions, I felt that the prudent thing to do was to leave Dad’s promptly. I cleaned off the car, carefully made my way out of his housing development, stopped at the nearest Dunkin Donuts for a coffee. A man has to have his priorities straight, you know!

Later I picked up Joel, Sarah and Tim at their mom’s. They were happy about the snow and hoping to be off from school the next day. (No such luck, only a one-hour delay.) As we drove home and talked about the snow, one of them said, “Hey Dad, maybe we got all this snow because we saw the Snogies the day before.”

Now, I can hear you asking, “Snogies?? What’s a snogie??”

Good question! Let me explain.

ON SATURDAY, while driving the kids to their mom’s, I was telling them about an incredible sight that I saw earlier that morning. I was on my way to a business appointment with an old friend from high school. I could not believe what I saw along the way. I said to the kids, “You should have seen it!”

Their response was the same as yours, “Snogies?? What’s a snogie??”

“No! I said SNOW GEESE!”

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Funny how we can misunderstand each other sometimes! What must have been in the minds of those kids for a moment when I said, “You should have seen it! There were THOUSANDS of snogies in that field!” Did they envision little gnome-like creatures? Is that what a snogie really is? Or did they imagine something hideous and grotesque? Something like overgrown, mutated, biting fairies? I would love to see the images in their minds for that moment before they realized what I was really talking about.

Truly, I never saw such a gathering of geese before! What makes it even more amazing is that Snow Geese are not so common in our area. Every year we have multitudes of Canadian Geese migrating through. I only saw one small flock of Snow Geese before. That was about a year ago. When I first saw these geese on Saturday, I was not sure what it was that I could see through the tree line across the field. They appeared as large pieces of white paper swirling along the ground. Then I thought that maybe they were gulls, common birds around here although not in such numbers. When I got closer to the scene I realized that they were Snow Geese. What a sight!

Later, when the kids and I got to that spot, there were even more geese. I stopped the car to take pictures. Even from a few hundred yards away we could hear their honking. They were covering the fields. Every so often they would take off, circle the field and land again. We moved up the road a little closer and took more pictures.

As we watched the birds take off and land again, I said, “It’s like the Dance of the Snogies.” Snogies had already become our favorite new word. And now another element of humor was brought into the experience. When I said “Dance of the Snogies,” Sarah changed it to “Dances with Snogies” like “Dances with Wolves.” Remember that movie with Kevin Costner? Dances with Wolves was the name that the Indians gave to him. The white woman that he found among the Indians was “Stands with a Fist.” I think one of their leaders was “Kicking Bull” or something like that and one of the warriors that eventually becomes friends with John Dunbar (“Not Dumb Bear!” Costner’s character’s English name.) was “Wind in his Hair.”

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The introduction of the “Dances with Wolves” concept into the whole Snogie affair was pretty funny. We came up with some pretty funny names. For me it was interesting too because I had just watched this movie on New Year’s Day. (Not that there is any New Year significance in that movie. Just thought I’d mention it.) One of the funniest names came out when we decided to be really crazy and run across the fields to see the Snogies close up. Tim had been holding a birthday cake while we were riding in the car. When I agreed to run across the fields, leaving my adult concern about trespassing behind, we opened the car doors and started to hop out. Sarah said to Tim, “Hey! Make sure you leave the cake in the car or else we will have to call you ‘Runs with Pastries!'” That one was the best!

We ran across the fields, about the length of a football field. We stood behind the tree line to get some pictures before the Snogies spotted us. It was only a matter of minutes before they did spot us. The noise of their honking and the sound of all those wings flapping all at once were unbelievable! It was an awesome sight to see so many birds take off! They flew away from us for several seconds. Then they all turned to the right and circled back! “Uh-oh! Now they are really going to spot us! Cover your heads!” We ran like crazy back across the field. “Aaagggghhhh! It’s just like that movie ‘The Birds!'” Halfway across the field we realized that the Snogies had turned back from us at the tree line.

We hopped back into the car, panting and laughing. Then I said, “Wait!” **gasp** “Wait!” **gasp** **gasp** “I got one! I got one!”

“How about ‘Runs with S**T in His Hair?'”

We drove away in laughter.

CORRESPONDING PICTURE GALLERY:

2001: A SAM ODYSSEY

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

SUDDENLY, it is the last day of 2001. Zoom! All gone! I blinked and almost missed it. Still haven’t had time to catch my breath. What do I write? What do I say?

I must say that 2001 had two very distinct halves to it. The first half found me working my brains out and pushing myself to the limit, mostly for a promotion. Then I switched positions, got my brain all scrambled in Java class and kind of floated around half-numb for the rest of the year. For me, caught in the transition between two distinct job positions, the work was slow. But that half of the year also brought new and unique opportunities into my life. Someone wrote and asked why my journal writing virtually stopped. He asked, “Are you busy, sick, in love?” All I could say was, “Yes. Sort of. YES.” I became busy with side business. I will admit that I have been in love. If you have been in love you know that you become “sort of” sick and you become even busier.

NOW, do I want to give everyone all of the details of being in love? Not really. That is why journal entries around here have been rather sparse. It feels almost sacrilegious to write about it. There is almost a superstitious phobia that if I write about it I will jinx myself and the whole thing will fall apart. At the same time, there is such a desire to tell the whole world about her. You know, when you are in love you just want to tell everyone. There are certain pains and heartaches that accompany love. Somehow, telling someone about the one you love takes the edge off of missing them when you are not together. They seem closer while you hear your own voice talking of how wonderful they are.

SOMETIMES I wonder if the “certain pains and heartaches” in love are residuals from past relationships in which one has been hurt. Exposure to pain creates a reluctance to expose oneself to the same pain. Is that not the whole point of spanking a child? The physical pain is meant to condition their behavior and to teach them to avoid that which is wrong or harmful to themselves and others around them. Does not the heart have its own pains that are so much harder to bear than physical pain? Who can live with a wrecked and bleeding heart? Thankfully, as the body, so the heart, there are ways of healing. Yet, realistically, as the body, so the heart, some wounds leave scars. May the scars make us all wiser, more experienced and better equipped to love more deeply and sincerely.

Is love easy? Not true love. Infatuation may be easy. Love is not. Why? Because love is more than an emotion. It is a commitment. It is a decision of the heart to care for another person and to live for their well being. It is a conscious choice to love that person as much as you love yourself. Often it is a choice to sacrifice your own wants and sometimes needs in order to make another’s life better. It might be large sacrifices. It may only be small sacrifices. Usually it is the latter. Ordinary life does not consist of stellar performances of heroism very often. Rather, it is made up of repeated, mundane little sacrifices and commitments. It is the daily loving and caring for another person in this way that reveals the heart of the hero. It would be glorious, and I might venture, even easy to die for someone. But can I LIVE for someone day by day? Can I get past early-relationship-euphoria and love this human being with both her wonderfulness and her weakness? That is the test. The earth-stopping, history-making displays of one-time sacrifices on behalf of a loved one are awesome and great, the stuff daydreams are made of. But can I still see how beautiful she is when she first wakes up in the morning and kiss her before she brushes her teeth? Perhaps I speak as a fool. Perhaps I know nothing at all. You decide.

NOW, the moon is rising in the cold Northeastern sky. Time is running out on 2001. There is so much more that I could say but won’t. Why jinx myself at the beginning of a new year?

IT CAN HAPPEN

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(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

THE FOLLOWING is from an email that I recently sent to a fellow online journaler. I thought that it might be useful and encouraging to others if they read it. So please take it and apply it to your own life. And, if you have a few minutes and the desire, please write to me and share your dream.

HEY YOU!

Just getting caught up in reading your entries a little. I apologize for slacking in that.

I liked “daydreaming insomniac.” “Must be the part of me that wants to believe I was born for greatness in the world, that I’m meant to be something wonderful, and all I have to do is discover what that wonderful something is…maybe it’s not such a bad thing, to still be dreaming, planning what I’ll be when I grow up.”

This is all true- even when you don’t feel it, even when the Sudafed is possessing your body and mind, even when you feel isolated on your won little island. It is true and I believe that about YOU! And I mean that very sincerely. Keep going. Keep dreaming.

You are a VERY good writer. You can be a GREAT writer! I know that you have it within you. With the amount of literature that you read, it is all going to come gushing out of you in WORDS! Bring the dreams and goals more into the WORDS. That will encourage YOU. YOU can be your own edifier through your own words.

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Look beyond the blur of the cough medicine. Keep your focus on the dream. “Nothing happens except first a dream.” So said Carl Sandburg. Ever heard of him? Heh heh! Anyone who ever succeeded in this world and made any kind of difference had a dream that they were living for.

Keep the child inside you alive. Adults don’t dream- children do. Adults are conditioned to be negative and doubting. Children do not have the ability to distinguish between the illusion of reality and the reality of the dream. I want to be a child forever. Please do not let me wake up! Do not let my dream vanish as the fog in the morning sun!

I have found the way to prevent that. Here is the secret. Every day do something to make your dream a reality. Let your dream shape your reality. Ask yourself, “What can I do TODAY that will bring me closer to possessing my dream? How can I spend the next 15 minutes so that my activity will bring me closer to my goal?” Then TAKE ACTION. Develop a plan and make a commitment to yourself to follow that plan. “Nothing happens except first a dream.” But something must HAPPEN. It is up to you. No one else can make it happen. And no one can steal your dream except for you.

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One last thing. Find people who believe in YOU, people who will support you, encourage you, and hold you accountable as you pursue your dream. Avoid the negative people, the cynics and doubters. When you happen across them, turn their negativity into fuel for your fire. Here is a quote from someone I greatly respect. “If someone believes in you, and you believe in your dream, IT CAN HAPPEN!”

GO FOR IT, BABY!!

Sam

THOUGHTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, 2001

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(Originally titled “IT’S CHRISTMAS IN BROOKLYN” and posted on the website Continuum…)

OH, SAINT NICK! Can you make all things right in the world this year? Can you make the world a better place? Can you bring us tidings of great joy? Can you bring us justice and peace? These are the things that we truly want. These are the things that our hearts yearn for. Forget the goodies and trinkets, so many soon forgotten baubles. Give us justice and peace.

Dear Saint Nick, this year we have seen tragedy as none of us ever expected. We have felt fear close to home, something so foreign to most of us. We have witnessed murder on an unbelievable scale. We have seen planes crashing and bodies falling from the sky, the end of the world on a bright September morning. Chaos and confusion. Death and destruction. Anguish and weeping. All on a bright September morning.

YOU KNOW, Saint Nick, I almost did not expect to see the Christmas lights this year. I was happy when I saw the earliest lights on a house in Brooklyn. And there YOU were! Right here in Brooklyn, so close to the scene of tragedy. We had to stop the car and take pictures. We did not know the people who lived in the house. We did not care. We needed to laugh and be as children again. Is that all adulthood really is, a constant struggle to be a child again? How refreshing it was to play the child and take pictures right here in Brooklyn! How we laughed until we nearly peed our pants when the owners came home and found us on their steps! The husband even volunteered to take a picture of us together, right here in Brooklyn! Christmas IS coming!

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Saint Nick, I remember the excitement that I felt as a child as Christmas was approaching. We made chains of colored paper. Each link was a day until Christmas. How tempting it was to cut more than one link off each day in an attempt to shorten the time until you came. Did you like the cookies I left for you each year? Did you hear my anxious breathing every time that I heard a noise from downstairs as I lay in bed on Christmas Eve? Every sound was you. Do the children today feel that same excitement? Is their excitement carefree? Or is it somewhat stunted by the fear that seems to pervade our air today? Do they have visions of National Guardsmen dancing in their heads? Does their breathing betray anxiety every time a plane flies overhead? I feel badly for them. Can you make things better, Saint Nick? Can you help the children?

WHAT will Christmas be like this year? Will it be so commercial like all the other years? What will people really care about now? Which will prevail, a spirit of giving or a spirit of getting? Where will our hearts be? How will we love our neighbor? Will we finally love our neighbor? Or will it take further tragedy to wake us up to what truly matters in this world? Must all the world fall down upon us before we learn to love with all of our hearts?

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SAINT NICK, I know that you are a good guy. You won’t let us down. We have believed in you since we were just a few years old, long before adulthood stifled our belief. Please tell us that our confidence was not misplaced. Please tell us that we can still believe. Please tell us that the world is not such a bad place after all. That is what we want to hear more than anything else right now. We want to believe. We need to believe. We need someone stronger than ourselves. Can you be him? We need someone who will not be shaken when buildings tumble down and when mountains fall into the sea. A super-hero will not satisfy. We need someone more like ourselves, someone better able to relate and feel the depths and intricacies of our humanness, someone otherworldly and yet so much like ourselves. We need…

Oh, look… There is a manger in front of that house.