(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)
1.) I was worried for you. Leaving the house wasn’t something you did very often. You didn’t even go out to get the mail. She did it when she came each night. She even dragged the garbage to the front of the house every week. I knew that you spent most of your day in front of the computer. Each morning I heard the soundtrack of your life, that classic Windows start up musak. On the days that I was home, I could hear your desk chair squeaking and rolling about. Late into the night, I could hear your insane laughter. What the hell were you two doing up there?? I have to admit, my imagination got the best of me and I pictured things that would make Hugh Hefner blush! But I didn’t hear her laughter as much. Hmmm. I’m glad now that it appears that you’ve gotten a job. I’m glad for both of us. I don’t have to suffer from an obscene fancy (as much) and you are out and about in the great big world.
2.) I love your poses. I love the poses I make you do. Remember the time I took photos of you? You were such a sport! You didn’t complain even once, while I twisted your figure into unthinkable positions. Was I too rough? We’ll have to do that again sometime.
3.) I was amazed! Your hands were so fast! Your timing was impeccable! You made it look effortless! I hate you! I love you! I envy you! I wish I could play my drums the way you play yours!
4.) Keep trying. Keep practicing. You will get it! You can learn it. You can do it. I admire your diligence and your vision. Perhaps I underestimate you too often.
5.) I almost feel like I should apologize. But I don’t like you enough for that. Besides, what I feel about you never manifested itself in my behavior towards you. Let me tell you. I hated the way you would inconsiderately barge into my “personal zone”. Every time you stretched your long arms and nearly clipped my nose, I wanted to smash your baby face with my $120 Small Business Management book, then tell the professor, “I slipped!” Damn it! You went through the whole semester without even buying the book! If we ever happen to have a class together in the future, PLEASE DO NOT SIT NEAR ME!
6.) You are awesome, caring, intelligent, genuine, fun, creative, thoughtful, short enough, tall enough, adventurous, appreciative, supportive, and damn sexy!
Can you come out and play?
7.) Thanks for letting me swipe the icon! I take back all the mean things I’ve ever said about people from Michigan. Wait… I don’t think I’ve said anything mean about Michiganites. Michiganonians? Looks like a disease.
Okay. I take back the disease remark.
8.) I think you are an evil psycho bitch and I hate what you do to your own children and to their father. He is one of my best friends ever and a decent guy. If hell turns out to be true, I hope you wake up there with a giant spotted ogre, whose breath smells worse than Newark, who is covered with oozing cankerous sores, who loves to listen to Celine Dion at full volume, and who has a giant sexual passion for your nether parts! Enjoy your stay and pray for lubrication!
9.) Tell me the truth? Do you pirates really drink the “spiced” rum? I’m thinking you drink a more manly rum and promote this one for us landlubbers. It sure is damned good! Inspirational too! Where do you think the spotted ogre came from?
10.) I miss you. It was all too soon. Sixty-six was all too young. I wish I would have been in the habit of telling you I loved you BEFORE you got sick. Christmas is coming. I’d like to postpone it until I can find a way to get to where you are and bring you back here with the rest of us. I wish we were closer while you were still here. I wish I wasn’t so angry at you when I was young. I wish I knew how to forgive you back then. I still regret that you were not a very open or affectionate man. Most of what I would have liked to know about our roots died with you. You were the last of the generation before mine. I wish you didn’t take all of your secrets with you. I could have used some of them. But all of that is okay. Thankfully, I did learn to forgive you even before you got sick. I’m happy about that. And I always knew that you never resented my anger. Thank you. I hope that one day we will stand face to face again. Then you can tell me EVERYTHING. Most of all, I just want to hear you call me “Sammy” again.
(This was written to 10 different people.)