(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

Now you ain’t got ta be worryin’ ’bout no purple monkeys, cowpoke! Sheriff Slammy won’t let dem dere primates bother ye none! I got my Big Thumb Gun and my sidekick, Poncho (the hombre attached to my right shoulder). We ain’t gonna let no harm befall ye. I mean business! Jest look how sweaty my forehead is! Cripes! Yer safe in these here parts cuz Slammy is da law! Nobody gonna harass ya here, not even that Frankenstein looking guy with the big loaf of bread sneaking up behind me. Poncho and I’s got ye covered! Ain’t that right, Poncho? “Si, Kimo-slammy!”

(And let me be remindin’ ye that ye need to be readin’ dis blog from da bottom up. Dat’s da way it’s done ’round here. Got it?)