October 2 was a Tuesday in 1990. Tuesdays are always a tough day of the week. Aren’t they? When I recall the words I wrote in this song, I remember that particular October 2 as being a tough day for me. I remember singing this song, perfecting it, while at work. I was working at a milk processing plant back then. We called it “the dairy.” I pasteurized the milk, unloaded the tanker trucks, washed the storage tanks. There was a section in the pasteurizing area that was a narrow hallway between storage tanks. It was out of the way and isolated, a good spot to be alone while cleaning those tanks. I remember working in that area on the day I wrote this song. There were some very tough situations happening in my life then. I remember singing this, praying, crying a bit – all while cleaning the components of the storage tanks and rigging up the stainless steel pipes to the cleaning system. I prayed a lot at that time of my life.

I wrote a lot of songs back then. I played guitar and sang at church, often leading the worship services at a small Christian and Missionary Alliance Church. I sometimes sang at other churches. My drive was to worship Jesus and share what I had experienced of His working in my life. Most of the songs I wrote tended to be prayers.

Our church had a Bible study on Tuesday evenings, usually in the home of a couple that lived in Easton, PA. While writing this I struggled a bit to remember their names. After all, it was 30 years ago. But my memory is still quite neater than the paper in the photo above and I recalled the names of Ken and Bernie fairly quickly. I have no idea what that brown stuff is on that paper. It’s not coffee. I didn’t drink coffee 30 years ago.

It was at one of those Tuesday night Bible studies at Ken and Bernie’s house where I first sang this song to people. There were maybe a dozen of us gathered in their living room. We used to start those gatherings with singing and prayer. I must have asked if I could share my song with them that night. I wrote about it in my journal when I got home that night.

Tuesday, October 2, 1990
10:05 PM

Our Bible study was really good tonight. The singing was pretty good. I really tried to concentrate on worshipping the Lord from my heart. I know that there are sins in my heart. But I really want that to change. I really want to have a clean heart before God. And as we sang, I prayed for that tonight.

I also sang a new song that I just wrote today. It’s hot off the press! Here it is:

Oh Lord, please light my way
Holy Spirit please strengthen my soul
Let me hear Your voice once more
I just need to know
That no matter how dark the night may seem
No matter how distant I feel from You
No matter how low I may sink in despair
You still love me
You still love me.

Can it be that You love us
When all our sins You know?
But You take those sins, so scarlet red
And You make us white as snow
The tears of joy do fall
And how it thrills me so!
You loved me enough to die, my Lord
By Your word now I know:
That these voices that whisper
Such lies to my heart
Are but ghosts that vanish
In the light of Your truth
You faithfully prove
Time and time again
That You still love me
You still love me.

Sometimes when I get down and I feel far away from God (usually from my own rebellion from Him), I have to remind myself that God still loves me. And His will is to heal the pains in my heart, to heal the wounds that my sin has made and to lead me on to a life of wholeness in Christ.

Incidentally, I couldn’t think of a title for my new song. So at the Bible study we decided to call it “October 2nd” since it was written on that day.

I have thought about this song many times on October 2nd. Through years of wandering far away from God, on October 2, I often remembered how there was a day back in my 20s when I poured out my heart to God. Because the song was title “October 2nd,” that made it stick in my mind on that date through the years. It has served as a reminder to my wandering self that I once lived close to Jesus and that I needed to return there.

When I wrote “October 2, 2022” in my journal this morning, again this song returned. This time, after moving and reorganizing things two years ago, I knew where to find those original lyrics written on that old messy paper. This time, after having been touched by Jesus to return close to him in February 2021 while reorganizing things, I am warmed by reading again the context in which this song was written.

I smile to think how it was a group effort to give a title to the song. I’ve lost touch with the people from that church. At least three of them have passed away to my knowledge. That particular church no longer exists. I wonder where Ken and Bernie are.

“Lord Jesus, You are the Good Shepherd. You will keep all of Your sheep. None shall be lost. May all of us who gathered at that home in Easton on October 2, 1990 be blessed by You today. Remind each of us of Your love, of forgiveness through Your blood, and of Your faithfulness which is the same despite our years of wandering. Indeed, Lord, Your faithfulness endures forever. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.”