(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

You’re not going to believe this. I asked a girl out and she turned me down. I told you you wouldn’t believe it! It wasn’t intended to be a big romantic candle light dinner kind of date. I asked her to go to MOMA to see the Matisse/Picasso exhibit with me. You know, kind of a cultural, artsy kind of thing to do. But she wiggled her way out of it by mumbling something about being afraid to go into New York because of terrorism and stuff. “It was very nice of you to ask though.”

“Sure. I understand.”

I understand now that a guy’s dating success rate rises or falls in direct proportion to a woman’s perceived comfort in regard to world peace.

(Please take a moment and pray now for world peace. I beg you!)

I was relating this incident to a FRIEND of mine in the UK who is a wonderful artist and loves Matisse. Here is her reaction to me getting “dissed.”

“Sam,

I am absolutely stunned that anyone could turn down the chance of a date at Matisse/Picasso WITH YOU.

She has no taste!

J.”

And my response:

“J,

Now this email made me smile! That’s right! She has no taste! It’s one thing to neglect Matisse. It’s another thing to reject Picasso. But it’s a crime against all things artistic (autistic?) to turn down Sam Snyder!

I’ll be seeing her later in the day. I think I will give her my best Picasso. You know, shift my nose just below my left eye, distort my mouth, move my right eye onto my chin, and cut off an ear. That will get her! Then she will wish she had said yes!

Yours,
Sam”

Yes, I am still going to see the exhibit. I already had tickets to go with my cousin and my kids before I asked the girl who does not appreciate fine art. Her loss.

Would I ask her out again? Sure! I thrive on that rejection stuff! It builds character! I’m living proof! I’m quite a character. (And besides that, I really kind of like her.)

But enough of this saga. Go on about your normal lives people. Nothing more to see here. Be well and pray for world peace!

Posted at 11:00 AM (EST)