Voided
Sometimes my best laid plans are made void by the arrival of a migraine. When one comes, I always have high intentions of continuing with my day, fulfilling all the to-dos on my to-do list. But over the course of several hours, my motivation and strength to keep going begin to wane.
My migraines always begin with a visual aura. It starts small, a bright tiny speck in my vision. I always doubt its existence when I first notice it. Maybe it’s just a floater or an afterimage from a bright reflection I saw. But once the tiny speck takes the shape of a few jagged lines and begins to shimmer and vibrate, I know my day has been interrupted in truth.
At that point I take my pills. The aura grows, spreading over 75% or more of my vision. My brain starts to get a little fuzzy. Sometimes my words get mixed up. The bright lights in my eyes are a sign of the circuits in my head shorting out.
The pain starts. I feel like puking. The energy of my body begins to fade as if it’s being drained through the soles of my feet into the hard lifeless earth.
By then I begin to give up on my plans for the day. Running and exercise feel like way too much of an effort. At that point I start to think, Maybe I can go for a walk to at least get a little exercise. But before long I usually forego that idea too. Going places, running errands, meeting up with friends, all become too much to undertake. I give up.
Along the way I usually become ravenously hungry, but not for anything healthy! No! I crave PIZZA! Almost always. Sometimes sweet things too. Then all my striving to lose weight by eating right gets completely derailed. I’ve consumed an entire pizza under such conditions. I’ve eaten numerous cakes and cookies. Is it a need for massive amounts of carbohydrates for which my body must have? Or am I eating for the emotional comfort of junk food? When I am in that condition, the answer to that question never matters.
This was my day yesterday. Plans were cancelled. My day went down the tubes. My vitality was sucked out of me. And I filled the void with:
For more thoughts on migraines and to see some of my migraine art check out “Sleep with Migraine, A Still Life” and other posts on my art website, Doodlesam.com.