OF PIXIES AND FLUFFERNUTTERS

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(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

One of the pitfalls of fatherhood, at least fatherhood with two young daughters in the hood, is “Fairytopia.” Ah, yes… nothing like a good movie starring… uh… none other than Barbie! Yikes! Gee whiz… she’s walking like she has a 50 pound stainless steel plate in her lower back. And her forearms are definitely too long and a tad too thin. I’m not sure what exactly is going on at this point in the movie. It seems that the pixies are losing their ability to fly. Never a good sign. There is the typical evil fairy woman… with green hair and a wicked looking magic staff. She can’t be all that evil though. She just offered fluffernutter sandwiches to her captives! No kidding. This movie is looking up. Life is always so much better when peanut butter and marshmallow are involved. And with that, I suppose I can say, “That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!”

I MISSED SILENT BOB… BUT GOT MY ORGANIC BANANAS

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

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Today my daughters arrived from Georgia for a visit on their spring break. As it has been three months since they were last here, we were very excited to see them again. We had Easter candy prepared for them. We got the movie “The Little Prince” from Netflix, which the girls are now watching as I write this.

We decided to stop at Whole Foods Market on our way to Newark Airport this morning. We haven’t found any decent stores that carry any significant amount of organic foods in our area of New Jersey. We heard about the Whole Foods Market in Millburn. We stocked up on organic juices, vegetables, soup base, snacks. We even got a bag of arrowroot cookies produced by Paul Newman, who, the package informs us, has given over $150 million dollars to various charities. Not too shabby! I hope his cookies are tasty.

Upon leaving the Market, I promptly got us lost. Being a man, I didn’t stop for directions. No surprise there, right? I didn’t even admit that I was lost for the first several minutes of being so. But I must have had that crap-I’m-lost look in my eye and gave myself away. Thankfully, fortune was on my side and I found my way towards Newark soon enough. The fact that the torrential rain had slowed up helped too.

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The rain did not help when it came to having the girls fly in today. Their flight was two and a half hours late. They left their home for the airport in Atlanta at 9 AM. They finally got off the plane in Newark at 4 PM.

In the meantime, we shopped at IKEA. WE LOVE IKEA! So many cool things there, including the nifty desk lamp that is shining up my keyboard at the moment. We got a very creative looking shower curtain with various images that appear to be hand-drawn. When the girls saw it, they asked if it was something to color on.

We had quite a wait at the airport. The plane was delayed even longer than we first thought it would be. We shuffled about through the little shops and thoroughly enjoyed a hot caramel apple cider from Starbucks. WE LOVE STARBUCKS TOO! I went through security several minutes before the plane was supposed to arrive. I ended up sitting in the terminal for over an hour! Lucky for me, I had a book in my pocket, “Life, the Universe and Everything” – the third book in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe. That was all well in good. However, the other half of “we,” the pretty half, saw Kevin Smith coming out of the very terminal in which I was sitting with my nose in a book! Don’t tell me you don’t know who Kevin Smith is! If you don’t know, you must have never seen a good movie in your life, man! His movies are the best. WE LOVE KEVIN SMITH! Click here to see what I’m talking about.

After the airport, we made a quick stop to see a friend who was having an open studio showing of his paintings. He lives in Summit, which turned out to be the area in which we were lost earlier! Driving down the road, we looked at each other and said, “Gee… this looks familiar!” As everyone was starving, we didn’t stay long at the studio.

Half way home from the airport, we ate dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant… after another quick stop at Starbucks in search of madeleines. Don’t tell me you don’t know what they are either! WE LOVE MADELEINES! After dinner, we had dessert at Dairy Queen, where we saw a little red-headed boy slip and nearly cream his face on the floor. If only he had known that he came so close to flying. All he had to do was miss the floor when he fell! Oh well, maybe next time he’ll get it.

That’s it. That was our day, movies stars, painters, clumsy kids and all.

(Oh no! The deadly bunny ear chokehold!)

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EVER THE ROCK STAR

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

I’m thinking… spring is here…

What do I need now?

HOW ABOUT A NEW HAIR DOO!!!!

Check out the hair implants I got! Awesome! Rock on, dude!

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PS – April Fools!

THE END OF A YEAR IN ONE PLACE

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(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

From April 1, 2004 until today, I worked on a daily photo project which I titled “A Year in One Place.” There is a field about 100 feet from my house. On the opposite side of the field is a stream. My goal was to take a photo of this end of the field every day for a year. The photo to the left is a reminder that I put in my car. It now has such character that everyone in the family has agreed that I need to leave the reminder there for good. Yes, I sometimes eat bananas in the car.

Here are some highlights from a year of taking daily photos in this place:


  • April 12 – garbage appears (maybe a cardboard box) and is visible until May 17
  • April 21 – new leaves are noticeable on the trees
  • April 29 – first wildflowers appear
  • May 12 – trees are noticeably full
  • May 18 – the stream is no longer visible
  • June ? – the first time someone asked me why the hell I was taking pictures there every day
  • June 18 – wheat begins to turn brown
  • July 1 – first photo taken by someone other than myself (guest photographers included Hannah, Maddy, Tim, Kayla, Arissa)
  • July 6 – wheat is harvasted
  • July 6 – first two of three vehicles appear
  • September 4 – first photo missed because someone forgot while I was out of town
  • September 15 – third vehicle
  • September 18 – field is flooded
  • September 21 – trees begin to appear noticeably thinner
  • October 13 – leaves begin to change colors
  • October 19 – first time I forgot
  • Total number of days missed – 9
  • Total out of the 9 that are on a misplaced disk somewhere – 3
  • November 4 – first frost
  • November 10 – leaves nearly gone
  • November 28 – stream is visible again
  • December 27 – first snow
  • January 22 – first photo taken during a snow storm
  • February 1 – first footprints in the snow
  • February 18 – first (and only) dog appears bringing the first (and only) human along with her
  • March 5 – my shadow is in the picture
  • March 24 – last time it snowed
  • March 31 (day 365) – first time a police officer stopped and asked what I was doing. I told him, “Nothing now. I’m finished.”

CLICK HERE to see the Year in One Place photo project.

Down Six Pounds

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

THIS JUST IN…

I was informed that “we” are no longer doing the seven day detox! “She” is planning on making chicken on Thursday night (because company is coming). However, I am still going strong! I am now down 6 pounds. Nothing but rice, vegetables and fruit since Sunday. No sugar. No coffee. No alcohol. No grains (just a little oatmeal). No fats. Brown rice, sweet potatoes and kale for breakfast today. I also have orange juice with powdered soy protein each morning. I have heavy duty multivitamins, Omega-3, and Q-10 with breakfast and dinner.

So far… so good!

Oh yeah… I unwittingly mislead everyone… on the two day fast of the detox diet, you can have any kind of herbal tea, not only green tea. So it’s not quite as restricted in that regard. No black teas are allowed though.