There’s Been a Bear Sighting!

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

People wrote after reading yesterday’s post about bear droppings below. (Yes, bears, like everyone else, drop from below.) Writers asked why I had no pictures of the bear itself, even though I had pictures of its excrement! The explanation of which is truly a fecal matter.

All dung jokes aside, readers may now relieve themselves, or rather be relieved that the bear has been sighted and captured through the marvel of modern technology, the digital camera. Here he is:

20080912bear1

Beary frightening! Wouldn’t you say?

And audacious! I caught him red-handed doo-ing it again!

20080912bearDoo2

I said, “Bring it on, yo!” and got my furry face all up in his bear-ded mug.

20080912bear3

“That’s right! You better run, Boo Boo!”

20080912bear2

Does a Bear Sh*t in the Woods?

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

Does a bear sh*t in the woods?

The answer is…

No! He sh*ts in Sam Snyder’s back yard!

20080911bearDoo

Those are not M&Ms! They are berries! (And you thought for a second that the picture looks appetizing! No, really. It’s okay to admit it.)

I think the bear pooed in my yard out of spite because he can’t get into my garbage can anymore.

20080911bungeeCan

That’s right, ladies and gents, BUNGEE CORDS! A man’s second best friend, just behind duct tape. There are scratch marks on the top of the can. That sucker was trying to get in! But I am smarter than the average bear! (Although, one may wonder about the intelligence of someone who posts pictures of bear crap on their website.)