If You’re Going to Fall, Fall Forever

falling
There is no bottom.

Off the Wagon

I fell off the no-coffee wagon. And I fell hard. I had two cups of coffee before 9 AM this morning. They tasted fantastic! And I got a lot of stuff done this morning! (I went through most of my connections on LinkedIn and added endorsements to peoples’ skills. I was paying it forward like a maniac!

So that’s that. Two weeks was enough.

Come on by and have some coffee with me!

Day 14 of No Coffee

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Dreamy

Today

Today makes two full weeks with no coffee.

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was enjoying a cup of coffee. It was delicious! It was the best cup of coffee I never really had.

My Coffee History

I didn’t always love coffee. For the first 35 years of my life I didn’t like it at all. One of the first times I had it was in my early 20s. I was working for my father-in-law at the time. On the way to a job site he stopped in a store for coffee. I didn’t want any but he assumed I did. He also assumed I liked cream in sugar in it. When I told him I didn’t want it, he looked at me like I was one strange bird, which is funny because his last name was Burd.

When I was 35 I made a changed occupations from factory work to an office job. The company provided free coffee every morning. It wasn’t the best coffee in the world, nothing like that in my dream. But I grew to like it.

My coffee game took a step up about 15 years ago. My girlfriend at the time – I was long divorced from Mr. Burd’s daughter – was from Brazil. Her mom came from Brazil to visit. As a gift, she gave me a small brick of Pilao coffee. Whoa-ho-ho! THE BEST coffee I ever had! So strong! It will make your head buzz a little bit. I’ve been drinking it ever since.

Feel Any Different?

The morning after my paradisiacal coffee dream, I revealed to two of my coworkers that I had given up coffee for almost two weeks. I got that you’re-one-strange-bird look from both of them, followed by a slew of questions as to why in the world I would want to do that. Then one of them finally asked if I felt any differently.

“NO.”

I really don’t. Well, maybe a little bit. But I’m not sure it’s due to abstaining from coffee. I’ve been taking an anti-inflammatory for a sciatic problem. I think that is mostly responsible for any reduction in stress I may be feeling.

What to do? What to do?

I’m thinking I should stop stress about this whole thing and relax with a good cup of Pilao coffee. In the morning. Don’t drink Pilao late at night. You won’t sleep.

Public Service Announcement

Here’s how to pronounce paradisiacal according to Google:
/ˈˌperədəˈsīək(ə)l,ˈˌperədəˈzīək(ə)l/

I kinda can’t do it very well.

It’s Day 11 and I Feel Fine

fedora
This is Jason Mraz on an episode of Sesame Street. This picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
Does Jason Mraz think it’s cool to wear a fedora? Or is he hiding something?

I Feel Fine

Honestly, once I got to day 7 or 8, I’ve been fine. No more caffeine withdrawal headaches. I’m not too tired. I just feel normal. I think I’m a little less tense, less jittery. But not as much as I expected. I’ve only had a few cups of decaf green tea each day. I would have thought I’d be even less tense by this point. I’ll have to continue the experiment.

That is all I have to say.

And now a word from our sponsors…

…Sesame Street and Mr. Jason Mraz.

Inner Ghosts

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Haunted

One need not be a chamber to be haunted,

One need not be a house;

The brain has corridors surpassing

Material place.

Far safer, of a midnight meeting

External ghost,

Than an interior confronting

That whiter host.

Far safer through an Abbey gallop,

The stones achase,

Than, moonless, one’s own self encounter

In lonesome place.

Ourself, behind ourself concealed,

Should startle most;

Assassin, hid in our apartment,

Be horror’s least.

The prudent carries a revolver,

He bolts the door,

O’erlooking a superior spectre

More near.

– Emily Dickinson

Day 6. But Who’s Counting?

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How many fingers am I holding up?

I honestly don’t feel any difference after 5 full days without coffee and nearly zero caffeine most of those days. What I believe to be stress-related phenomena, for lack of a better word because I don’t want to say “symptoms” or “issues,” have not abated yet.

My theory here is, if emotional stress is impacting my body to the point where my physical therapist says, “You are the most tense person I know,” and I don’t sleep well because of muscle spasms and tension in my neck – not to mention nighttime anxiety, then too much of a stimulant like caffeine can’t be helping my situation. Thus the idea of eliminating caffeine, especially coffee, has been enacted.

And it blows.

Day 6: the stress phenomena continue, I’m tired, and I have a caffeine withdrawal headache still.

But I’m pressing on.