A Dad’s Advice to His Son on His Honeymoon

“Dad,

Arrived in New Orleans on honeymoon.

Found this notice in the taxi.

Plans ruined.

Please advise.

-Your Son”

There's a loophole there.
There’s a loophole there.

 

“Son,

The sign says ‘may be a First Degree Murder offense…”

A good lawyer can work with that.

Stick to the plan.

-Dad”

Cats

Creepy staring cats
Creepy staring cats

I was in State College, PA for a few days this week. The weather was perfect for running and I ran each morning through Penn State owned farmland and around the very large football stadium, which stands there like a gigantic alien spaceship in the midst of pastures and mountains.

It was on the second day that I spotted these creepy cats staring at me from the cement wall at the entrance to a tunnel beneath Interstate 99. I stopped and stared for a moment, baffled that I ran past them the day before and did not notice them. I am not a morning runner. At first I thought maybe I was having a pre-breakfast, hunger-induced hallucination. But no. Those cats were definitely there, staring at me, thinking fiendish feline thoughts, waiting for me to enter the tunnel.

I ran like hell.

I hate cats.