(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

This isn’t the winning ticket??

I didn’t win the lottery, but a group of people from my office won the New Jersey Mega Millions drawing on March 3. Ten people. Rumor has it they are getting $14 million each.

Who hasn’t said the words, “If I win the lottery I would…?” (And usually the first thing stated is that you would quit your job on the spot, right?)

Well, has anyone ever seriously dreamed about what they would do if they DID NOT win the lottery but ten people that they knew DID?

“If ten people I knew won the lottery and I didn’t, I would… wait for them in the parking garage and rob them.”

“If ten people I knew won the lottery and I didn’t, I would… be depressed and talk shit on them all day.”

“If ten people I knew won the lottery and I didn’t, I would… quit my job on the spot for a split second just to see what it felt like.”

“If ten people I knew won the lottery and I didn’t, I would… pretend that I was in a Wonka movie and sing loudly, ‘I’ve got a Golden Ticket!'”

“If ten people I knew won the lottery and I didn’t, I would… probably post a dumb picture of myself on my website and let everyone know I was a loser.”

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

There’s a note on the vending machine that says, “Lost $1.00 on 11/20. It did not register.”

What do you think that means? Did they not realize they lost $1? But then how did they think to leave the note?

I’m confused. People should have more consideration for people with minds like mine.

Although, without their ambiguity, what would I have to write about today?