Well, Cookie, I’m Confused

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(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

What does that MEAN??

“Every action has a counter action. Just if you can see it or not.”

Does every action have a counter action only if I can see it or not? But isn’t that illogical? Doesn’t the second sentence automatically cancel itself out?? I’m either going to see it or I’m not. Either way the first sentence remains unaffected. So, what’s the point of your second sentence? Why did you say that? What do you mean?

And what kind of a fortune is that anyway?? You are a FORTUNE cookie! Not a Natural Law cookie. You might as well tell me, “What goes up must come down. Just if you can see it or not.” Or, if you don’t see it, it might come down and strike you in the head.

So, not only did you confuse me, you GYPPED me! You could have said, “Your actions will bring you happy counter actions,” or “What goes up must come down. But don’t worry. You won’t be under it when it does.” Nope. You left me fortuneless. Some cookie you are.

Can Do/Can’t Do

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

I found this at a park recently. It was lying on top of a garbage can. It is dated June 1, 2006.

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Now I am curious. Was this fellow able to work things out? Why are there arrows by #4 and #5 on the “Can Do” list? Why is he “trying” to be honest? Why is that a struggle? Did he previously fail at being faithful?

And what’s up with Katie? What’s with the “sudden anger?” Is she really that authoritative? Why is she attacking him and dishonoring him in front of the children? What kind of surveillance? Cameras? Phone tapping? Web cams in the house? Is she really this much of a bitch? Or has she been hurt because he didn’t try hard enough at being honest and faithful in the past?

I wonder if he thought of the quote on page two himself or if his therapist said it. I wonder if he and Katie took it to heart and gave it their best effort?

I wonder where they are now and if he threw this page away after two years because things were resolved or because things were beyond repair and he finally canned it.

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There’s Been a Bear Sighting!

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

People wrote after reading yesterday’s post about bear droppings below. (Yes, bears, like everyone else, drop from below.) Writers asked why I had no pictures of the bear itself, even though I had pictures of its excrement! The explanation of which is truly a fecal matter.

All dung jokes aside, readers may now relieve themselves, or rather be relieved that the bear has been sighted and captured through the marvel of modern technology, the digital camera. Here he is:

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Beary frightening! Wouldn’t you say?

And audacious! I caught him red-handed doo-ing it again!

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I said, “Bring it on, yo!” and got my furry face all up in his bear-ded mug.

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“That’s right! You better run, Boo Boo!”

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