Billy “No Way” Cyrus

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

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Oh my achy breaky Hannah Montana!

Billy Ray Cyrus made an appearance at a Walmart not far from our home today. Frankly, I could have cared less. Yours truly is NOT into country music. Sorry, but y’all can keep yer country drivel. It’s worse than rap… and I’d rather pull my earballs out than listen to rap. However, Billy Bob… I mean Billy Ray… is on the latest hit Disney show Hannah Montana. My daughters are all about THAT show. And I am all about my daughters. So… yeah… I attempted to get in and have a peek at him.

But, as you can see by the photo above, there was NO WAY of seeing Billy Ray. That line was wrapped all the way around to the back of the building. Inside the store, the line went from the doors, over to the center aisle and all the way to the back of the store where Billy was apparently seated behind a wall of screaming kids and women… and big dads with kids on their shoulders. (I think they had the ambulances there because I’ve been known to seriously injure bystanders when subjected to country music. They were a precaution in case Cyrus started singing his Achy Breaky Heart nonsense. I would have been doing the Dismemberment Line Dance from one end of the store to the other.)

We left. My daughters were slightly disappointed, but not too much. After all, their dad is Sammy Ray Snyder. And he don’t sing country!

Escaping From a Fireworks Store

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

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Make a dash for it! Don’t just exit…. EXIT! Make it fast! Skidaddle!

Like this…

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But wait! There must be method to this madness. Check out the E. E. P.

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Don’t go back, child! If you didn’t catch all the EEP on the way through, it’s okay! You’re out! You lived! To heck with the EEP! Head for the hills!

Because on a hill is the best place to watch a fireworks store when it’s on fire! What a show that would be!