(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

I went to buy new jeans last night.

I have one pair that is just perfect right now. Perfectly faded. Perfectly soft. Perfectly comfortable.

I have another pair that is just beyond that point of perfection. It has a few holes in not the best of places, one of them being the pocket I carry my wallet in. Or rather, the pocket I used to carry my wallet in.

A third pair of jeans never had the chance to reach that perfectly faded and comfortable stage. It also has a hole in the wallet pocket, not from wear, but from a jagged-edged flange on a garage door. I tried to squeeze past the back end of my cousin’s car and my back end got snagged on the door. Fortunately, only my jeans ripped. No other personal assets were injured. The jeans were rendered useless for all except back up when pair #1 are in the wash.

As three minus two is one, and one worn for too many days in a row is ewww… we went shopping for jeans.

There was a time in my life when I only wore one brand of jeans. LEVIS. I was young. I was thin enough to squeeze past garaged cars. And I was cool.

I was also a teenager. There are particulars about being a teenager that make you either cool or uncool. I wore Levis. I also carried one of those large plastic combs with the handle. I had long rock star hair. I was cool. I needed a comb like that in my back pocket. One never knew when he would find himself in a rock star-like situation. Girls loved guys with rock star hair. Girls loved guys in Levis.

The thing is, I haven’t worn Levis in quite a few years now. I’ve been wearing Wranglers. (Hey! Where did all the girls go?) For a guy with a bunch of kids, Wranglers were within my economic reach. Why should I pay considerably more for Levis? Do you know how much food you can buy with the money you save by snagging a pair of Wranglers instead? We’re talking quite a few boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese here!

What? Am I not cool now?

I did try on a pair of Levis last night. They brought about some reminiscing, a flashback (or was it a relapse?) to the glorious teenage days. What a disappointment! (the jeans, not the flashback) The quality was lame. The fit was lame. The coolness was… simply not there. So I took the Levis off, gathered together my coolness, and headed straight for the rack of Wranglers!

Yes, I put my old pants back on first.

I happily bought two pairs of Wranglers. Regardless of what all the other kids say, I know I’m still cool. I know what’s important. I know it’s not just a brand, an image, an appearance. Coolness runs deeper than that.

Not needing to carry a big comb because I don’t have enough hair for it? THAT is not so cool! But this article wasn’t about hair. Was it?

Leave a Reply