It Feels Good to Wear Something Other Than Pajamas for a Change


I had to go to the eye doctor today. Every six months now I have to get checked out for glaucoma. It’s an age thing. The pressure in my eyes has been close to the upper limit of safety for decades. But given my age, the doctor, who is not much more than half my age, wants to keep a watch on the situation. So I see her every six months. But I don’t see her very well on the glaucoma only visits. By the time she enters the room, her assistant has long before saturated my eyes with the dilating solution. So the doctor and her glaucoma tests are all a blur to me.

I had to keep this silly mask on the whole time.  (I’ve ranted before about their ineffectiveness.)  Also, there was no waiting in the waiting room.  I had to call from my car when I arrived.  Someone met me at the door of the office and escorted me straight into a room for my first test – the one where you stick your face into a white box and press a clicker every time you see a light anywhere in your field of vision.  In the exam room I was told to wash my hands.  The doctor kept her distance from me.  The assistant told me how moronic the mask wearing is.  She said the proper recommendation for masks, even the medical ones, is that the wearer change the mask every 20 minutes.  That’s not happening anywhere.  So I sat there with my silly cloth mask on.

About that silly mask, when I went to the urologist the staff thought it was decorated with a Minnie Mouse print.  The doctor’s assistant had to lean closer to see that the print is actually pirate skulls.  He didn’t keep his social distance, leaned in with (I’m sure) a better quality mask that is full of filth from not being replaced every 20 minutes, and inhaled whatever I’m exhaling through my flimsy cloth – a highly effective pandemic-stopping routine.

Why did I visit the urologist?  Age.

Gray or Green?

Cope’s Gray Tree Frog

I’m pretty sure this is a Cope’s Gray Tree Frog, as best I can tell by pictures I found online.

Luckily I saw him before I squished him under hand when picking up the water can.

A friend of his wasn’t so fortunate earlier in the evening. Our cat played a little too hard with that poor fellow before we noticed.

Mud and Monsters

Mix & Match

I got a left Elmo rubber boot on my right foot.

I got a right snow boot on my left foot.

I got mud all over both. I was stomping around after it rained.

I got mud and monsters on my jammie pants. I’m into wearing jammie pants all day. But I wear t-shirts instead of the matching jammie shirts. I’m so over jammie shirts. My dad is stronger than monsters.

I am three.

So Many Seasons in One Day

Lilac – The First Best Smell of Spring

I Wish You Could Smell These

I wish you could smell these! We have been waiting for these lilac flowers to open. They have no scent until they open. Not even a tiny bit leaks out. But when they open, they are delicious. I had been telling my little boy about how wonderful these flowers smell. These are one of mom’s favorites. Today, when I showed them how they had bloomed and I inhaled deeply with my nose to the pedals, he leaned forward and forcefully exhaled through his nose. It’s hard to smell anything that way, kid!

This picture was taken at 2:26 PM. He had rained off and on through the morning. The sky was dark and windy most of the day so far.

Sleet on Plants
Oh no! Sleet in my plants!

From Spring to Winter in an Hour

No long after I took the lilac picture, the wind really whipped up. Then sleet came pelting out of the sky! Sleet? IN MAY???? Nothing has sprouted in those pots yet. So I’m thinking this won’t effect the plants. But really… sleet in May?

This picture of sleet was taken at 4:08 PM.


Heat Wave

We Interrupt This Season to Take You to Summer

At 4:47 PM, 39 minutes after the picture of sleet in my flower pots, it was nearly 70 degrees! I know what you might be thinking. No, that was not hail (,Mary,) in those pots. It was legitimately cold. It was sleet. There was even some snow mixed in with the sleet. True, we get hail with storms in the summertime. But this was not hail.

Strange Day

This was a strange day in the midst of strange days. The pandemic. Everyone wearing face masks in public. Most stores still closed. Most people not going anywhere, just staying home. It all feels so strange.

Cover Your Pie Hole

Who was that masked man?

If the Mask Fits, Wear It

There was a time in human history when we used to chuckle at people who wore masks out of fear of catching SARS or Swine Flu or what-have-you (or what you have). Now we all hide our smirks behind masks for fear of catching the COVID-19, aka: the “novel coranavirus,” aka: the “Chinese Wuhan Flu.” But what is in a name? A virus by any other name is just as deadly. Actually, no it isn’t. Many thousands around the world have died in the past few months.

So here we all are: wearing masks. Is that piece of cloth on my face effective? No, not really. That virus could go right through that fabric as if the strands were miles apart. So could 50 million other viruses and bacteria. Granted, it would keep my sputum (lovely word) from flying out of my face if I coughed or sneezed. I’m sure it would make everyone around me in a grocery store feel better.

And that right there is the primary driver behind this phenomenon of wearing masks, especially masks that are not medical grade. It makes everyone around you feel safe. Regardless of the fact that your act of breathing launches millions of virus cells into the air right through your mask, the rest of us feel warm and safe. Of course, I’m assuming your guilt of being a virus carrier without due process here. You just keep your mask on and I’ll keep mine on and we will do this little corona dance around each other and feel happy and secure and good about ourselves. I’m wearing a mask because I care about you. My mask won’t prevent you from being infected if I’m carrying the virus. But, dude, I care. We’re all in this together. Things will get better. If you get sick and die, don’t blame me. I’m complying with protocol.

Complying with Protocol

It’s not that it’s a good idea to put non-medical grade cloth in front of my face. It’s not that any of us used our common sense or honest care for the well being of our fellows. We were told we have to cover our faces. It’s a signed order from our governor. It’s not proven that the practice prevents the spread of the virus or even that it reduces the risk of spreading it. But we have been ordered to do it. I would feel better if we were all issued a medical grade mask that actually blocked the transmission of viruses and bacteria. That would make sense to me. That would be something that has been proven to be effective. But this isn’t something sensical. It’s an order to cover your face. Use a scarf, a cloth, a sock, a flimsy dust mask from Home Depot. Just cover your goddamn face so we can all feel better. That’s an order.

Cover Your Stupid Face

So let’s all cover our stupid faces so we don’t catch more stupidity from each other. I really question the whole idea of evolution. Are we evolving? Are we getting any smarter? I see lots of evidence that we are devolving. It’s masked behind our group think. Let’s leave it there for now. Let’s wear our masks, smile, and wave. Or don’t smile. Smiling is pointless under the circumstances. You probably won’t wave either. Wearing a mask seems to make us invisible to each other too. When people are in public with masks on they seem less inclined to acknowledge each other. It’s like our masks all have the text, “Fuck off,” printed on them. Our masks don’t hold back any germs but they sure make it hard as hell to hear the word Hello from anyone’s mouth.

I must stop here. This mask makes my glasses fog up and I can’t see well enough to continue.