Browse Category: Heron Flight

THIS ARTICLE IS VULGAR AND NASTY

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

There is a critical mass building inside me. It’s dark and depressing and angry. I fear the explosion will be devastating. I just don’t have the patience for all the shit in life anymore. I seem to be handling it less and less well. I get annoyed and sigh and mumble about nearly everything these days. The multitude of small things that piss me off is growing. I’m telling you, you do not want to be nearby when the bomb goes off.

Today was a typical day with a fair amount of bullshit. For instance, I had to have a damn root canal this morning. Why? Because I broke my damn tooth on a piece of Valentines candy last month! Sweet, right? When I got to the dentist’s office, the receptionist told me that the insurance company rejected my son’s bills because he is over nineteen and has been dropped from my policy. And that is all because the company I work for switched dental insurers and the previous dumb ass insurance company didn’t inform the new dumb ass insurance company that my son is disabled and needs to be on my insurance policy. Now I have to make dumb ass calls to this company and try to straighten out their dumb asses. This is the very kind of thing that drives me nuts! Dealing with insurance companies, or utility companies, or the motor vehicle agency is an energy sapping ordeal. I hate it. And this is only part of what turned out to be a disappointing portion of my earthly existence. I can’t even write about the most upsetting part of the day because I’m still pretty goddamn upset. Plus, all the teeth on the upper right side of my mouth hurt like hell tonight. They’re all sympathetic for the one that had its guts yanked out, I guess.

Anymore, it feels like every day is like this. There just seems to be so much horseshit every day. And a lot of things that didn’t used to be considered horseshit are looking more and more like horseshit in my opinion. It’s stacking up in piles. A large portion of the horseshit pile is the way people can be so inconsiderate when it comes to some very basic aspects of life. For instance, on Saturday morning, I took a walk over to the Dunkin Donuts. It was a beautiful morning. I decided to walk a little extra and just enjoy the fresh air. Do you know what happened? Some big-assed bastard in a big-assed SUV nearly ran my ass over while I was crossing a street! Those signs that say “Yield to Pedestrians in Crosswalk” mean NOTHING to those who drive SUVs around here and feel that they can plow their way through everything. I waited for the damn white “WALK” sign to light up before starting to cross the street. I was in the middle of the damn lane when the SUV prick decided to make a quick left hand turn and cut in front of me. He was so close that I could have reach through the passenger window and popped that fucker in the mouth. Lucky for him it wasn’t down. At least he got the middle finger waved and a “fucking asshole” shouted at him. He probably didn’t even see it with all that ozone-depleting, lung-destroying exhaust pouring out of that big vehicle. That’s the problem with SUV owners. They just don’t give a damn whether they kill one guy crossing a street while in a hurry or if they kill all of us in the long run.

And what about the people that walk right the fuck into you while in the mall and don’t even say “Excuse me” or even acknowledge that they just bumped into another legitimate human being? That happened to me on Sunday. This stupid blabber mouth girl ran right into me while yakking away to her boyfriend. I had to stop and move out of her way before I could catch up to the person that I was walking with. That fat mouth didn’t even look at me and I was close enough to ram something up her ass good and hard. Maybe I need to start doing that so people will at least know that I exist. I mean, I’m just talking about basic courtesy here. Everyone needs to stop being so goddamn stupid and self-important. There are other people around you who don’t want you blubbering up against them.

There is so much more to complain about. Rising prices of shit is a good one. Yesterday, I had a lunch meeting with some people from work. We went to a restaurant near the office. I ended up paying $5 for a glass of iced tea! Beware of carelessly ordering an iced tea thinking it’s one of the least expensive drinks in the house. It never occurred to me to check the price on the menu before ordering a simple thing like iced tea. I shouldn’t have to check the damn price. One glass of tea should not cost almost as much as a whole meal at McDonalds! Luckily, I had eaten at the office previous to this meeting and didn’t order a meal. Those who did paid $17 each! The price of gas is another cause for complaint. Right after Hurricane Katrina the gas prices in the US shot through the roof. The head dicks (dick heads?) of the oil companies told us all that it was because so much damage was done to refineries and oil rigs in the Gulf region. A few months later, those head dicks announced to the world that their companies had made billions in profits that quarter. No???? Really???? So now, why is the price of gas still sky high???? We need to change this country’s motto from “One Nation Under God” to “One Nation Under Gold”. The greed for it is the controlling factor in nearly all that goes on in this country. And while the corporations amass their gold, the nation is buried under the debt of gold. The national debt in this country is now over 8 TRILLION DOLLARS. According to one article I read, “If you spent a million dollars a day for a million days (2,739 years), you’d hit $1 trillion.” Or… “To spend $1 trillion in the average American life span of 77 years, you’d have to be on a lifetime spending spree of about $35,580,857 EVERY DAY FROM BIRTH.” But the current executive administration of this country continues to give tax breaks to the extremely rich while taking away aid to the very needy. Where the fuck is fucking Robin Hood when we need him? Somebody needs to save us for the certain doom that awaits.

But who am I to talk about such things? I’m just a ticking bomb with bad teeth and a website right now. These words won’t change one fucking thing about any of the shit I just complained about. It’s not like I can go to Washington, D.C. and reason with Congress with any success, or shake the living shit out of President Bush. Nope. So, I’ll be shutting up now. I just hope I’m in a fairly solitary place when my meltdown begins. Pray that it doesn’t happen in the mall.

WHAT WAS REALLY BEHIND THAT SMILE I WALKED IN WITH

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(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

You wake up with a dull grinding pain inside your skull, like someone is pulling a cheese grater behind your forehead. Then you discover that your 18-year-old has used most of the hot water while you were attempting to prolong your last dozing moments. The fact that you even have a kid who is that old, and he’s not even the oldest, doesn’t give you much incentive to greet the day with any resemblance of a smile. But you hop into the pee-warm shower like every other corporate automaton this morning. You need the shower anyway. Your head looks like it’s been mauled by bears sometime in the night. You can’t go out looking like that! You would scare the tarnation out of every silver-haired granny who passed you on her way to the corner grocery. Many of them are Polish in this town you know. Then you remember that you are a little Polish too. Not that it means anything. Just like it doesn’t mean anything that you are also half German and half Irish. The problem is that you are fully American, disconnected at birth from all that your ancestors may have been. You can only trace your roots back to a run down old town in Northwestern New Jersey and a varied array of relations who didn’t talk at all about their Old World heritage. At least, the memory of some of those folk causes somewhat of a smile. Remember Aunt Aggie, your dear old alcohol-loving great aunt? She was the sweetest! Remember her tiny voice and how her lips always got saliva all over themselves when she talked? She was always in the bag, that gentle old drunk, from your Irish side of course. But time is running out, in more ways than one. Better get moving. Put your tie on. Brush your hair a little bit. Brush your little bit of hair. That’s depressing. You sure are a long way away from your long-haired younger days. Who the hell is that looking back at you in the mirror? Some disconnected aging guy pretending to be you? You know things are bad when you can’t stand looking at your shirtless self for more than a minute. But you don’t have much more than a minute anyway. At least you can get by without shaving today. Although, a shaving accident holds more appeal than another eight hours limited to a cubicle again. What is the point of your life? What is the reason for the routine you reluctantly follow Monday through Friday? Is it just for money? Where does most of the money go anyway? Into your landlord’s pockets? Then you realize that your thoughts are so negative that Aunt Aggie’s way of life starts to make sense. But the liquor store doesn’t open before you have to go to work, so you settle for Dunkin Donuts coffee instead. What would the little Polish ladies think of if they saw you brown-bagging it out of the liquor place at 7 AM anyway? They would know you were Irish then! When the counter lady hands you your coffee with no sugar, just cream, smiles and says, “Have a good day, sir,” you recoil from the middle-age-implying “sir”. But the woman’s politeness brings the realization that your brain has been rambling in one solid depressing paragraph since the minute your head left the pillow.

You take your change. Say, “Thanks.” Smile in return. Then you walk through the door, 14 ounces of mood enhancing, headache curing hot coffee in hand, determined to not take the rest of the day so darn seriously.

APOSTATE HYMN

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

The trains go by,
Pounding through my veins
Is the desire for home
The sounds swirl round
Inside my head and I
See the world rush on.

Here, here upon this plot of ground
Let me feel secure
Now, now take my life from me
I don’t want anymore

Down this drink
In its current, I,
I will wash away
Take my head between
Your loving breasts
In your soul I am safe.

Apostate hymn
By one corrupt, dark man
It will find its lonely way
Above to you eventually
Will you remember me?

– author unknown

IN SEARCH OF SING SING

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(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

Of all days of this February, yesterday was perhaps the coldest and windiest day of all, the worst day to be strolling along the Hudson River. Not that we strolled much. We spent most of our time in the car. But the little bit that we spent outside walking was enough to turn our faces windburn red and make our little noses freeze. Yet, we ventured forth nonetheless. It was a day when the urge to explore was upon us. We could not be content to brave the day away basking in the warm glow of the dvd player. Hot cups of tea in stocking feet and brothy bowls of soup were not our course. We needed the satisfaction of adventure!

We went in search of Sing Sing. What better activity on a wind-worn day than seeking out one of America’s most notorious prisons? What better sight to warm the soul than that of “The Big House,” the house of murderers, rapists and other socially threatening individuals? With the breeze blowing fiercely south, we went “up the river”.

“Why?” you ask.

While in need of a destination, the idea of finding Sing Sing struck me as I did some reading for my current class. I’ve been studying deviance and have been required to read the book “Newjack” by Ted Conover, who purposely became a corrections officer at Sing Sing state prison in New York in order to write about prison culture. While checking a map yesterday to see exactly where Sing Sing was located, I noticed that it was just a few towns away from the legendary Sleep Hollow, the setting for Washington Irving’s famous story. It was there that the headless horseman haunted the dwellers of the riverside village. The combination of interest in Sing Sing and the curiosity of experiencing Sleepy Hollow was enough to impel Arissa and I to hop in the car and speed our way to New York in spite of the chilliness of the day.

Seventy-five miles later, we found ourselves on the Tappan Zee Bridge, spanning the churning brown waters of the Hudson River north of New York City. To our right, the George Washington Bridge crossed the same waters, the rising columns of Manhattan’s skyscrapers visible beyond its suspension cables. To our left, somewhere on the eastern bank upriver was Sing Sing.

Immediately after crossing the bridge, we exited the thruway to take Route 9 north. The first town we passed through was Tarrytown. There we were soon impressed with the stone church building of the First Baptist Church. Here we made our first exposure to the wind to take a few pictures of the church. We endured only long enough to click off a few shots and headed back to the car, happy for the shelter of my little Toyota.

Next we entered the village of Sleepy Hollow. I could see how this little town could be spooky as in the “Legend of Sleepy Hollow”. There was a cemetery there that stretched for nearly a mile along the main road. We came across a sign that signified the original location of the bridge over which the headless horseman traveled. I could just picture the fog coming off of the river, “spookyfying” the whole God-forsaken place.

A few more miles up the river, past Briar Cliff Manor, we arrived at Ossining, the home of Sing Sing. It wasn’t always called Ossining. Originally, it shared the same name as the prison, derived from the name of the Sint Sinck American Indians. Eventually, not wanting to be associated with the stigma of the prison, the town changed its name to Ossining. Construction of the original prison was begun in 1825. 100 inmates from Auburn prison arrived in that year to begin excavating marble from which to build their own cells. Each cell was only three feet, three inches wide, seven feet deep and six feet, seven inches high. Three and one half years after arriving, on November 26, 1828, the inmates were locked into the cells they had built. The next day, a Bible was provided for each of them. (Click here to read more about Sing Sing on Wikipedia.)

I have to say that Sing Sing prison is the best kept secret of any town in North America. There was not one sign anywhere in the town of Ossining that pointed us in the direction of the prison. When first entering the town, we thought, “It’s a maximum security prison. It must be pretty easy to see. Right?” Wrong! We drove through the town and back again without finding the prison! I remembered that Conover, in his book, mentioned that you could not even see the main gate of the prison from the town because originally they brought the prisoners to the prison by way of the river. The main gate faced the river. I remembered that he said that only a few sides of the high prison wall were visible from the town. Eventually, quite by accident, we came across these walls on State Street. The cold, windy climate of the day was a quite fitting setting for our first encounter with the wall. It was high and cold. No life passed through that wall. There was no escape from it. The whole prison sat below the edge of a hill along the river. Moving further uphill along a side street did not provide anymore of an expansive view of the prison complex. It was virtually cut off from the town proper, imprisoned between State Street and the cold rough waters of the Hudson.

We clicked off some photos after finding the prison walls, before noticing the signs that said “photography prohibited”. (I have since uploaded them to my website. Deviant? You know it!) Then we began looking for a place to eat dinner. We drove around Ossining, back and forth a few times. We discovered Main Street. Then guess what we found. Another entrance to Sing Sing! Off of Main Street, we went down Hunter Street and suddenly found ourselves in front of an employee parking garage! Straight ahead of us there was a guard tower visible behind razor wire. There was a sign that said “Visitor Parking.” We followed that driveway for a few dozen yards, just enough to click off another illegal photo of one of the brick prison buildings. Rather than come within sight of the armed tower guards again, we u-turned our way out of there and made for dinner once again.

I have to say that at the point of seeing the cold Sing Sing buildings, I felt completely disconnected from the atmosphere that Ted Conover described in his book. While he described situations in which correction officers sometimes had containers of urine thrown upon their faces, I sat in my car comfortably listening to classic rock on Q104.3. While he wrote of his continual fear that prisoners might become violent, and described how in his early days on the job he was once unexpectedly punched in the side of the head and nearly knocked unconscious, I held hands with my girlfriend just outside of the cement walls of Sing Sing. Even while stepping outside of the car to snap a photo, all was silent but the wind. We saw no sign of life whatsoever in the prison complex. It was an imaginary world that existed only in old movies and Conover’s book. Certainly, my comfortable, middle class, white New Jersey life had nothing in common with the harsh daily experience of the 2,000 plus inmates and the lesser number of officers responsible for their charge just beyond the wall in front of me. The wind effectively carried their voices of complaint, sorrow and turmoil out across the river yesterday. The prison was a ghost town, as far as I could tell.

We didn’t spend much time around the prison. Though my car is small, it is not inconspicuous, being RED! We figured it was best to high tail it out of there and make our escape back to “civilization”. Dinner had become a necessity.

Unable to find anything appealing in Ossining (while we enjoy Mexican food, we just weren’t in the mood to stop in any of the several restaurants that presented themselves), we turned our way south toward Sleepy Hollow in search of food once again. While the Headless Horsemen Diner was cute in a classic literary kind of way, it wasn’t all that appealing to our bellies in a satisfactory kind of way. We continued back down Route 9, eventually finding the Eldorado West Diner. Though you would think that “one could not go wrong with meatloaf,” you would be sadly mistaken in this case. When all else fails, resort to filling up on the complimentary breadsticks and crackers. Such was our dinner.

Soon thereafter, we raced our way across the Tappan Zee, through the crosswinds and the hauntings of Sleepy Hollow and Sing Sing, back to New Jersey, back to the comfort of the familiar. Ichabod be damned! We were home! Wind at our backs, prison behind us, we were home! The familiar and the comfortable.

CORRESPONDING PICTURE GALLERY:

FOR MORE PHOTOS OF SING SING BY A RETIRED SING SING CO:

In Search of Sing Sing – February 26, 2006 (Photos)

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

Read my corresponding blog entry here: In Search of Sing Sing

[CLICK PICTURES TO ENLARGE]

1st Baptist Church, Tarrytown, NY
1st Baptist Church, Tarrytown, NY

1883 Lighthouse, Sleepy Hollow, NY
1883 Lighthouse, Sleepy Hollow, NY

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View of Sleepy Hollow  from Kingsland Point Park
View of Sleepy Hollow
from Kingsland Point Park

Lighthouse and Tappan Zee Bridge
Lighthouse and Tappan Zee Bridge

Kingsland Point Park, Looking North
Kingsland Point Park, Looking North

Old Park Building, Kingsland Point Park
Old Park Building, Kingsland Point Park

At the Train Station  near Kingsland Point Park
At the Train Station
near Kingsland Point Park

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Street in Ossining
Street in Ossining

Church in Ossining
Church in Ossining

Main Street, Ossining
Main Street, Ossining

Church in Ossining
Church in Ossining

Prison Wall, off of State St.
Prison Wall, off of State St.

Prison Wall, off of State St.
Prison Wall, off of State St.

Prison Wall, along State St.
Prison Wall, along State St.

View of Prison from State St.
View of Prison from State St.

Top of Prison Building,  barely visible at end of street
Top of Prison Building,
barely visible at end of street

State Street
State Street

At the End of Hunter St.
At the End of Hunter St.

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"Up the River", "The Big House"
“Up the River”, “The Big House”

Driving into the Visitors' Entrance
Driving into the Visitors’ Entrance