“Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been nine days since I last went for a run.”

Not only that, I’ve only run four times since Thanksgiving. Granted, one of those runs was 14 miles. But this lack of frequency in running has become a problem. The lack of miles plus the consumption of a whole lot of unhealthy, albeit tasty, foods over the past few weeks has been a bad combination. This situation needs to be rectified ASAP!

To that end, I mustered enough ambition to get away from my desk and out the door at lunchtime today. My lethargic situation had reached a critical point. I blocked off time to address this TODAY. I donned my running gear, scooted out into the balmy-for-December 52 degree afternoon, headed down the road, and within 500 yards I felt: DISGUSTING. All I could think about were the cheeseburgers I’d consumed lately… and the cookies… and the potato chips… and the candy. The occasional banana or apple I’d ingested didn’t carry much weight in counteracting all the nastiness I’d dumped into my belly. Carrying weight was exactly what I felt that I was doing during that first quarter mile. I lugged it all the way through the whole first mile, at which point, I was completely winded, completely discouraged, completely ready to lug my big gut back to the office and accept defeat.

Then I checked the time. Guess what. I had been running at way too fast of a pace. 9:30. No wonder it felt like it sucked so bad! That is way too fast for me. Realizing this changed my perspective on that first mile and on this run in general. I ran a 9:30 mile in spite of walking three times in that mile and with all that junk food clinging to me. I decided I could continue the course. Slow it down a bit. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Take the long way back to work.

Not far into mile two, the thought struck me: “Forgive yourself.” Oh, please! That’s dumb! “Be kind to yourself.” That’s cheesy! “Think about what you’ve accomplished this year.” That got me thinking. Once I stopped flogging myself for being such a slob over the past few weeks, I was able to start enjoying the run. For three more miles I reflected on the goals I had reached during the course of the year.

I started the year on the couch, down for the count with piriformis syndrome. I ran once each month from January through March. They were monthly test runs to prove that, yes indeed, my hip still hurt too much. I went through several weeks of physical therapy with no satisfactory results. Then I went for a deep tissue massage and that got me over the hurdle of severe pain. I ran a 10K in April, probably too much too soon. It was painfully unenjoyable. Then I ran a half marathon in May. That was a little more enjoyable but still too much too soon. Then I backed off. I took a few weeks off from running and then started from scratch. I cut my mileage way down. I only ran three times per week. In the beginning, I alternated between running and walking every few minutes. Gradually, I was able to increase the running until I was able to run five miles without pain.

Then I got the fever to run races! I got it into my head to run three half marathons within a 30-day period in the Fall. Then, if all went well, I would run the full Philadelphia marathon in November, my first marathon. The line up included the Newport Liberty Half in Jersey City, NJ; the Princeton Half; the Runner’s World Half in Bethlehem, PA. My overall goal was to finish these races and end the year with no pain.

The first half marathon was on September 20. I would have liked to have trained a little better by that point. I was also having muscle spasms in my right calf. So, I showed up in Jersey City with my calf shaved and K-Tape running up each side from the ankle. I never thought I’d shave anything other than my face or maybe my head. But if it’s to facilitate a run, hand me a razor! I did fairly well in this race. I did run out of steam during the second half of it. I did have some trouble with the muscle spasms. But overall, I was happy with my effort.

Next up was the Princeton Half Marathon on October 4. This was an enjoyable race. The course was hillier than I expected. Some of the scenery was a bit boring. My calf was okay in this race but I had trouble with hamstring spasms. I didn’t shave my legs this time, but I did shave a little bit of my… I don’t know if I should say it. I shaved a little bit of my boobs. Just enough to apply Nip Guards. I lost one by mile 5. But, like I said, anything for the run. My energy was better in this race. I made it to mile 10 before I felt any significant drop in my energy. I think the hills got to me at that point. Overall, I was happy with this race too.

Then came the Runner’s World Festival. What I didn’t say previously was that I signed up for all four races being held at the festival. That meant a 3.8 mile trail race on Friday, October 16, a 5K and 10K on Saturday, and a half marathon on Sunday for a total of 26.2 miles for the weekend. How could I resist? The trail race was the first I’d ever done. Indeed, it was the first time I ever ran on trails. I LOVED IT! It required a higher level of focus. It was exhilarating. The 5K went by in the blind of an eye. The 10K… man, that was a hilly course! The half marathon was wonderful. I did not have problems with muscle spasms this weekend. I had started taking daily magnesium supplements. I also included Endurolytes into my long runs. This has greatly reduced the leg spasms. The Runner’s World Festival was the highlight of the Fall. What a thoroughly enjoyable weekend of running!

By the way, I went all out and shaved nearly half my chest for this race. I have resorted to Band-Aids to protect my nips. It’s completely unattractive. I’ve apologized to my wife several times. But, anything for the run!

All had gone according to plan for the first three half marathons. I had completed all without injury. However, my training had not been what it needed to be. I decided to bow out of the full Philadelphia marathon. I ran the half instead.

There is nothing like a big city race: 30,000 runners, the thrill of running through a major city. It’s exciting! I started off with a high five from Mayor Nutter. I did fine until mile 5. Then I had significant spasms in my hamstring. I think it was partly due to my legs being cold. So, I stretched at mile five, used a bathroom, had some water. I slowed my pace and had no further problems for the rest of the race. I finished this race strong. The bonus of this race was the very cool medal with an Liberty Bell that actually rings!

There was one thing that nearly derailed my running after the Runner’s World Festival. I was so jazzed by that trail race that I went to the Delaware Water Gap to run the trails with a friend the next weekend. We did 13 miles. It was heavenly! So heavenly that I went back four days later and ran eight miles. However, in my eagerness, I sprained my foot. The doctor ordered me to refrain from running for at least two weeks. That brought me within 10 days of the Philadelphia Half. I obeyed the doctor. Thankfully, after two weeks, I was able to run a few miles without pain. By the time of the race I was nearly back to normal.

All in all, I’d say I accomplished my mission this year. I’m pain free. I got a bunch of cool medals. The hair is starting to grow back on the ol’ man boobs. I think the best thing I can do right now is forgive myself for the reckless eating and start over again. One foot in front of the other. One mile at a time. Be a happy runner.

***Update*** 12/17/2015 (the very next day) – I won a basket of cookies at a holiday party. Just what I need.