(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

I’m still sick and there is nothing significant to report today.

So, I’ll tell you about something significant that happened last week.

Late Wednesday night, I got the chance to speak to…

That’s right! Alice Cooper!

Arissa and I were driving home from the Collective Soul concert in Red Bank. We turned on the radio and heard Alice on Rock Line, a live show. They were taking calls from people who wanted to talk to Alice. We were nearly home when they finally gave the phone number to call. After many tries, we were able to get through.

“Hello, this is Rock Line. Who would you like to speak to tonight?” asked the woman who answered.

“Who to I friggin’ want to talk to??? Alice of course!” I thought.

“Uh… Alice Cooper, please,” I said.

“Sure what would you like to ask Alice?”

“Well,” I started, “the very first rock album I ever bought was Alice’s record School’s Out. I was twelve years old. It was 1975. I just wanted to tell him that and let him know what an influence he was on me.”

“I’m sorry, sir. You have to ask a question for us to let you on the air with Alice. Can you think of a question?”

My mind went blank! I wasn’t prepared with a question! I didn’t know that was the rule!

“Give me a second! Hold on! Let me think!”

I was afraid she was going to hang up on me.

“Uh… uh…”

“Anything you can think of to ask, sir?”

“Uh… well… I know that Alice was somehow connected with Frank Zappa in his early days. How about if I ask him something about that?”

To my relief, she replied, “Okay. How about if you phrase the question like this. ‘What was your relationship with Frank Zappa in the 1970s and do you still keep in touch with the Zappa family?’”

“Can I still tell him that the first record I bought was his?”

“Sure!”

She told me to hold on the line until someone else directing the show came on and gave me instructions.

Eventually, a man came on the line. He screened my question and then gave me the instructions.

“When the host says, ‘Now let’s go to Sam in Manville,’ you say, ‘Hi,’ and immediately ask your question. Nothing else! Just the question!”

Yeah, right!

By this time we had arrived home. Due to the time delay in the radio broadcast, I couldn’t be near the radio while talking on the phone. So, I stood in the driveway with the cell phone while Arissa sat in the car and listened to the show. It felt like it took forever. Every now and then the man came on the line and told me I was coming up soon.

Finally, I heard the show on the line and heard the host say, “Now let’s go to Sam in Manville, NJ. Sam, you’re on the air with Alice Cooper.”

“Holy crap!” I thought.

But I nervously managed to say, “Hey, Alice! It’s an honor to speak with you!”

Alice said, “Oh, thank you!”

Did I go straight to my question? Nope!

“I wanted to let you know that the very first rock album I ever bought was School’s Out when I was 12 years old in 1975. I’ve been your biggest fan ever since!”

Alice again, “Oh, thank you for your kind words.”

“Okay, here’s my question… blah… blah… blah…”

Alice responded to the question. He told how his band came to Los Angeles in the late 1960s from Phoenix. They were the weirdest band anyone had ever seen. No record company wanted to produce their album. But Frank heard them and said, “You guys are weird! My band, the Mothers of Invention, play some weird stuff. But I don’t think I could even teach them how to play what you play. I will produce your record!”

I knew the general story behind that already. I knew that Frank helped him get started. I even knew that at one of Alice’s earliest shows the crowd hated the band so much that they walked out and only Frank and a few friends of the band were left. All I wanted was a chance to get on the air and pay my respects to the Coop!

And look what I have! A ticket to see Alice with Cheap Trick on Monday night! Oh yeah!