(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

My 10 and 12-year-old daughters are visiting for the week. They are on spring break. Boy, those schools in Georgia! Spring barely starts and “WHAM!” they are on spring break! It’s not like New Jersey. Time drags on and on when you are in school here. Then, when Easter break finally arrives, they tell you the break is shortened because you have to make up for using a snow day or two. Well, that’s the way it used to be. With global warming and all, we are beginning to forget what snow is in New Jersey. I mean, we were on the beach, where children walked on the jetties in bare feet, on January 30, for crying out loud! Pretty soon we’ll have to close our schools to take a break in the beginning of April because it’s going to be as hot as August!

As I was saying, my girls are here. In the car, after leaving the airport, after a three hour flight delay, one of the girls had the idea of starting a story in which the four of us in the car contributed by adding a word in turn. The story got weird and crude. Yes, the childhood amusement that comes from bodily functions!

Alright… so it still amuses me too! Here is our weird little story. I’m sure I will be inundated with emails from publishers eager to print this in hardbound!

THE LADYBUG, THE DADDY, AND URANUS

Once upon a time, a ladybug crawled and peed yellow pee. So, as we wiped his urine, Daddy laughed, and cried, and pooped. Uranus was shining overhead. BM slipped, smelled, plopped, and squished on Daddy’s toes. The ladybug flew into Daddy’s body because his butt was very exposed.

Uranus visited the Earth.

THE END

I know, it’s weird. It’s gross. I’m sure someone will send me an email telling me what a bad Daddy I am, how I need to grow up and teach my kids some manners. Well… you send ’em. I’ll print ’em. And we’ll all wipe with ’em!