10

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

1.) I was worried for you. Leaving the house wasn’t something you did very often. You didn’t even go out to get the mail. She did it when she came each night. She even dragged the garbage to the front of the house every week. I knew that you spent most of your day in front of the computer. Each morning I heard the soundtrack of your life, that classic Windows start up musak. On the days that I was home, I could hear your desk chair squeaking and rolling about. Late into the night, I could hear your insane laughter. What the hell were you two doing up there?? I have to admit, my imagination got the best of me and I pictured things that would make Hugh Hefner blush! But I didn’t hear her laughter as much. Hmmm. I’m glad now that it appears that you’ve gotten a job. I’m glad for both of us. I don’t have to suffer from an obscene fancy (as much) and you are out and about in the great big world.

2.) I love your poses. I love the poses I make you do. Remember the time I took photos of you? You were such a sport! You didn’t complain even once, while I twisted your figure into unthinkable positions. Was I too rough? We’ll have to do that again sometime.

3.) I was amazed! Your hands were so fast! Your timing was impeccable! You made it look effortless! I hate you! I love you! I envy you! I wish I could play my drums the way you play yours!

4.) Keep trying. Keep practicing. You will get it! You can learn it. You can do it. I admire your diligence and your vision. Perhaps I underestimate you too often.

5.) I almost feel like I should apologize. But I don’t like you enough for that. Besides, what I feel about you never manifested itself in my behavior towards you. Let me tell you. I hated the way you would inconsiderately barge into my “personal zone”. Every time you stretched your long arms and nearly clipped my nose, I wanted to smash your baby face with my $120 Small Business Management book, then tell the professor, “I slipped!” Damn it! You went through the whole semester without even buying the book! If we ever happen to have a class together in the future, PLEASE DO NOT SIT NEAR ME!

6.) You are awesome, caring, intelligent, genuine, fun, creative, thoughtful, short enough, tall enough, adventurous, appreciative, supportive, and damn sexy!

Can you come out and play?

7.) Thanks for letting me swipe the icon! I take back all the mean things I’ve ever said about people from Michigan. Wait… I don’t think I’ve said anything mean about Michiganites. Michiganonians? Looks like a disease.

Okay. I take back the disease remark.

8.) I think you are an evil psycho bitch and I hate what you do to your own children and to their father. He is one of my best friends ever and a decent guy. If hell turns out to be true, I hope you wake up there with a giant spotted ogre, whose breath smells worse than Newark, who is covered with oozing cankerous sores, who loves to listen to Celine Dion at full volume, and who has a giant sexual passion for your nether parts! Enjoy your stay and pray for lubrication!

9.) Tell me the truth? Do you pirates really drink the “spiced” rum? I’m thinking you drink a more manly rum and promote this one for us landlubbers. It sure is damned good! Inspirational too! Where do you think the spotted ogre came from?

10.) I miss you. It was all too soon. Sixty-six was all too young. I wish I would have been in the habit of telling you I loved you BEFORE you got sick. Christmas is coming. I’d like to postpone it until I can find a way to get to where you are and bring you back here with the rest of us. I wish we were closer while you were still here. I wish I wasn’t so angry at you when I was young. I wish I knew how to forgive you back then. I still regret that you were not a very open or affectionate man. Most of what I would have liked to know about our roots died with you. You were the last of the generation before mine. I wish you didn’t take all of your secrets with you. I could have used some of them. But all of that is okay. Thankfully, I did learn to forgive you even before you got sick. I’m happy about that. And I always knew that you never resented my anger. Thank you. I hope that one day we will stand face to face again. Then you can tell me EVERYTHING. Most of all, I just want to hear you call me “Sammy” again.

(This was written to 10 different people.)

Mr. Rosebudnose

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

We got several inches of snow last night. So much that I worked from home. That’s the only drawback about having your company issue you a laptop… no snow days! But working at home has its benefits, including the freedom to work in your underwear.

Mid-afternoon I went outside to shovel the sidewalk before the sun started going down and the air became colder. I put on a light jacket, slipped my iPod into my pocket, and grabbed the snow shovel I shoveled the snow from the front steps. It was heavy, very wet. Just right to…

… build a snowman!

20051209snowman1

Now, we have no front lawn. We have two concrete patio-like areas bordered by a low brick wall along the sidewalk. The backyard was already in shade. The snow was too cold to use for a snow man. So, I had to build him in the driveway. Of course, I couldn’t leave him there. So, I built each section and carried it over to the front of the house. He was one fat-assed snowman! Let me tell you! That boy’s bottom was heavy!

20051209snowman2

I used dried sunflowers for his eyes and sunflower stalks for his arms. I gave him a red rose bud nose, perfect on a cold day. His mouth was a piece of wood I found in the backyard, not a very nice smile. But Mr. Rosebudnose was still a nice guy. I topped him off with my favorite red hat to match his nose.

20051209snowman3

As is true with most snowmen, Mr. Rosebudnose had a bad back. This is because, like the rest of his kind, he had no spine, being made of snow and all. This led to his downfall. Literally.

20051209snowman4

The poor fellow fell backwards and smashed his head on the brick wall! When I went outside to finish shoveling, his face was on the wall, his little rose bud nose sticking up. What a tragedy!

20051209snowman5

Mr. Rosebudnose did not live his short, one-hour life in vain. He brought happiness to Arissa, who has been very sick since Tuesday. Since she couldn’t go out and play in the snow, I built a snowman to surprise her. I almost broke my own back in the process. But at least I didn’t leave my face smashed on the wall! I was happy to cheer Arissa a little. Thanks Mr. Rosebudnose! I couldn’t have done it without you!