MOMMA

matissePicasso

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Hey! Look what I got today! A reeeeally nice book on Matisse/Picasso. (No, you may not borrow it!) I got it from MOMA. (Not to be confused with MOMMA.) I bought it online and got it in just a matter of days. Good deal!

MOMA is running a special exhibit on Matisse/Picasso. I’m hoping to go see it in the not-too-distant future. In the meantime, I’ll have to read the essays in this book and get myself all “cultured up” before I go see the exhibit.

(And no, you still can’t borrow it!)

Posted at 10:45 PM (EST)

The Things People Search On

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Here is a list of 20 things that people searched on (through Google, Yahoo, etc.) and the pages they found on my site. Some of them are funny. Some of them really make you wonder about people. The one about Gene Simmons and the last one are my favorites. More to come in the future.

Search Criteria

 Destination
smbluebulletEvil Demon smbluebulletBill’s Desk (Photo Gallery)
smbluebulletDemon Frog smbluebulletBill’s Desk (Photo Gallery)
smbluebulletFunky Dixie Land
Pretty Mama Take Me By The Hand		 smbluebullet“Don’t Lose that Number”
smbluebulletPictures of Corned Beef Cabbage smbluebullet“Buffalo Before Breakfast, Twizzlers Before Lunch”
smbluebulletUFO Sighting Pictures smbluebulletMy UFO Sighting (Photo Gallery)
smbluebulletManiacs smbluebullet“200 Miles of Rain”
smbluebulletGene Simmons Speaking in Tongues smbluebullet“When We Were Rockstars”
smbluebulletImbecile smbluebulletAbout Sam Snyder
smbluebulletMan Eating Fox smbluebullet“Biking at Island Beach State Park”
smbluebulletI’m Feeling Lucky smbluebulletMain Page
smbluebulletDirty Boot Gallery smbluebulletMy Dirty Pictures (Photo Gallery)
smbluebulletPictures of Insect Bites on Babies smbluebullet“Old Photos”
smbluebulletNavin Johnson smbluebullet“Randomness”
smbluebulletPicture of Huge Construction Worker smbluebullet“Last Week in Java Class”
smbluebulletNosepickers smbluebullet“I’d Rather Have Root Canal!”
smbluebulletPictures of Poor Cows smbluebullet“Where’s the Snow?”
smbluebulletSerial Killer Personality Test smbluebullet“The Oyster and the Personality Test”
smbluebulletPictures of Children Puking smbluebullet“Finkledorff, Finkledorff, Where Have You Been?”
smbluebulletGetting High on PEZ smbluebullet“Randomness”
smbluebulletSam Buffalo Snyder smbluebulletMain Page

 
Posted at 5:00 PM (EST)

Free

flagDecals

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

FREE is good, right? Well, here are some free USA flag decals. Click on the image to go to the website. All they ask for is a stamped self-addressed envelope and they will mail free decals to you. (Thanks to Mom for the link!)

Posted at 8:40 AM (EST)

Short Skirt

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Here’s a song for you. One of my current favorites. It’s half good ideas, half tongue-in-cheek. I like it all except for the part of changing her name from Kitty to Karen. I understand that the name had to rhyme with Chrysler LeBaron. But how about changing her name to Doris and trading in the MG for a Ford Taurus?

Regardless, it’s a funky tune.

“Short Skirt, Long Jacket”

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what’s best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocations
Who’s fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s playing with her jewelry
She’s putting up her hair
She’s touring the facilities
And picking up the slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.

I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete, to cut her red tape

With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tainted glass
She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s touring the facilities and picking up the slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket

I want a girl with smooth liquidation
I want a girl with the right dividends
At City Bank we will meet accidentally
We’ll start to talk when she borrows my pen

She wants a car with a cupholder armrest
She wants a car that will get her there
She’s changing her name
From Kitty to Karen
She’s trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron

I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket

by CAKE
from the album Comfort Eagle

Buy Comfort Eagle from Amazon.com by clicking HERE.

Posted at 3:30 PM (EST)

Ummagumma

floydposter

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

I got a Pink Floyd poster!

So what?

Noticing that I was starting to overdose on CNN’s and NPR’s war in Iraq coverage, I decided to go buy some new music last night. I needed something fresh and new. What better music to cure an overdose than Pink Floyd? (?)

I got a remastered CD version of their 1969 “Ummagumma.” I had forgotten all about this album. After listening to it, I bet most people have forgotten about it! But how can you not buy a CD that has a song title on it like this: “Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict?” If that won’t distract you from war nothing will!

Okay. Here’s the funny part. When I opened the CD there was a poster inside. This caused an instant flashback to the age of 15. Back then I had tried to steal a poster out of Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” album. I had the cassette. But cassettes didn’t come with posters. There was a girl in the aisle as I slit the plastic album wrapping and dropped the poster in a bag I was carrying. She looked like a stoner, so I didn’t worry about her. Well, she was undercover security and I got busted for ripping off a poster! Nothing ever came of the incident. And I did reform my ways. I don’t think I’ve tried to steal any Pink Floyd paraphernalia since then. But all these years I’ve had to endure life without a Pink Floyd poster. Now I have one. Maybe my karma is improving. Maybe the experiences of my life since 15 have been sufficient punishment and the recording industry gods now deem me worthy of a poster. Or maybe is just further proof that CDs are a huge improvement over cassettes.

The poster hangs proudly… in my cube at work. Not exactly where I would have placed it at 15.

Buy Ummagumma from Amazon.com by clicking HERE.

Posted at 1:00 PM (EST)