Browse Category: Photos

Hanging Out with My Bronchitis

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

20031220gamefarm

Is there anything of significance to write about today? I am sure that today was a significant and even life changing day for many people in the world. I am sure that people died. People were born. People celebrated birthdays and anniversaries. People made love. People treated each other badly. Things probably went on just like they do every other day.

I, on the other hand, hung out with my bronchitis and didn’t do much of anything today.

I did manage to do a little Christmas shopping, just a few things. When I took my daughter to work, I walked around the store and found a few things for the kids. But I couldn’t take too much of being in such a crowded place. If you don’t feel well to begin with, don’t get yourself into a situation where you are surrounded by rabid last minute Christmas shoppers, half of which look and smell bad. Just don’t do it.

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20031220caMelGibson

Meet Gibson. He’s a camel. Get it? CaMEL GIBSON? He is also a puppet. Go ahead, click his picture to see a larger one. I found him while I was shopping today. He has little black camel hooves, hair under his chin, on his tail, on his hump. Yes, he has a hump. You can’t see it too well in the photo though. There are some things that you really shouldn’t put pictures of on the internet. Your hump is one of them.

Gibson is a cool camel. He’s down with all the ladies around the oasis. Ya know what I mean? He’s a hard worker too. Always bustin’ his hump. (Duh.) He’s well edumacated, has a sophisticated fake British accent, and is one hell of a drummer.

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During the course of shopping at Best Buy for a gift for someone, somehow I ended up with a System of a Down CD for myself. Tremendous! Love it! Fast. Aggressive. Sounds best at ear splitting volume in the car. You know it’s loud enough when the guy in the car behind you is banging his head in time with your music, even though the windows in your car are all the way up. That’s the way I drove to and from the store today. Then again, that’s the way I drive almost all the time.

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I spent the rest of the day reading “Hammer of the Gods” and watching “X2” before falling asleep for a few hours. I don’t know… Halley Berry with white hair? And when she does that frosted eye thing? I don’t know… I liked Halley Berry in the Flintstones movie. She was sexy in a primitive way. The whole white hair, frosted eye thing is a little too fa-reaky for me.

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One last thing. The photo at the top of this entry is Rockport Game Farm. I happened to drive by there today. I tried to get closer for a better picture. But the pheasants started running enmasse in the opposite direction. It was quite a ruckus. So I had to settle for this photo taken from the side of the road.

I hit a duck with my car one time at Rockport Game Farm. I didn’t do it on purpose. Sorry.

Posted at 11:30 PM (EST)

Mutual of Sammyha’s Wild Kingdom

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

20031209omaha

Welcome to the show! Are you old enough to remember when Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom was on television on Sunday nights? I believe it was on right before the Wonderful World of Disney.

And now… your hosts for this evening’s show…

20031209samPerkins

Marlin Perkins and… some strange guy…

And now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let’s explore our planet’s wildlife… Go ahead and click on the pictures to see almost but not quite life size versions of these ferocious critters. Don’t be scared! They aren’t real. They are just digital images taken by the nut job who runs this website.

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20031209dove2

Oh look! It’s the New Jersey Single-eyed Dove! Don’t get too close! She’ll pluck your eye out ’cause she has eye envy. You have two good eyes and she only has one. This particular species of carnivorous dove lives right in Mom’s back yard!

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20031209bunny3

“Oh, it’s just a harmless little bunny, isn’t it?”

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20031209buck1

Shhh! It doesn’t take much to scare off this majestic looking fellow. It’s amazing that he even posed for as long as he did when our car came to a screeching halt on this country road and we jumped out and clicked his picture!

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20031209cows2

Moving along down another country road, what do we have here?

“Set! 22! 59! Hike!”

Nah! I’m just kidding! They aren’t really playing football! But it does make one wonder why they are standing in such a formation. And it reminds me of my cow tipping days when I was just a little lad growing up here in Omaha. Just push the one on the top of the hill over and they will all tumble like dominoes! What fun! Cowminoes! (Is a “cowmino” really the same thing as a “calf”? Hmm… Something is a little fishy here…)

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20031209roosterHydrant

Since we are on the farm now, let’s take a look at this proud fellow. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Is he thinking what we are thinking? Can roosters hike their legs?

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20031209squirrel

Oh man! Uh… Ah… We better move along folks. I kinda put a picture of his dead brother on the internet. Oh boy! I think he recognizes me! Ya never know about these guys! They can be kinda squirrely! Come on… Move along now…

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20031209pigeons

Oh look! No, up there! It’s a Northeastern Hop Pigeon! See how he looks just like an ordinary pigeon yet only has one leg! These fellows are not very common. But now and then you might spot one in cities such as Manhattan.

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20031209mantis006

What? Oh, splendid! You found a mantis! A big one too! Thank you for your participation!

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20031209slug

Well… Our time is up now everyone. But wait! Look who just arrived! (No, that is not another salad picture.) It’s Mr. Slug! Slow and slimy wins the race! Right?

Thank you for tuning in, my friends!

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(This show has been brought to you by Just-Needed-Something-To-Write-About Productions in association with Utterly Ridiculous Web Writers Omynous.)

Posted at 11:15 PM (EST)