What Stage Are You?

Mr. Stinky

In a dream. Possibly at work.

I enter a room in which many people are milling about.

A guy says to me, “Sam, what stage are you?”

Me: “What stage am I?”

Guy: “Yes. Your cancer. What stage?”

Me: “Uh… I don’t have cancer.”

Guy: “Well, you are giving off such an odor that we all assumed you had cancer.”

Me: “No. It’s just a tooth that’s bothering me.”

Guy: “Hey, everybody! It’s not cancer. He just has a tooth bothering him.”

He walked away. No one else spoke to me.

I do have a tooth that’s bothering me. But I don’t think it’s giving off an odor. If there’s an odor, it’s because I need a shower. But it’s not at stage 4 level. Maybe stage 2.

Why wouldn’t people talk to me in that dream?

The Place is Lousy with Beavers

Two beaver lodges (foreground and background)

While hiking at Mahlon Dickerson Reservation today, I spotted two beaver lodges that I hadn’t noticed before. They are in a location that I always pass when hiking or running here. I just never noticed them before. I think I noticed them this time because the vegetation is getting much greener. I stepped off the trail closer to the water to get a better look. This watery area was more extensive than I realized. When I’m running these trails I guess I’m focused on the ground so I don’t trip on a rock or a root and bust my skull. I need to stop and smell the beaver lodges more often.

I’m not sure if these lodges are still inhabited. I didn’t see any signs of recent beaver activity along the banks of the water. The usual signs include small trees gnawed off and bark chewed off of larger trees. All I noticed was a large tree that had been chewed sometime in the past, as you can see below. Maybe the beavers abandoned this one lodge and set up house in the more remote lodge away from all the tourists.

Where have all the beavers gone?

Beavers are amazing creatures. Lots of creatures gather and transport various materials to build nests and dens. But beavers take it to another level. They are quite industrious indeed. That’s a lot of work to cut down trees and haul them through the water. “Busy as a beaver” sure is an apt phrase. I’d love to spend a day hiding in beaver territory observing them going about their business.

For more on beavers in this area, see my video: “Beavers at Saffin Pond.”

To Paleo or Not to Paleo?

To my imagination, the first thing a hunter-gatherer gathered was fresh coffee beans. Then he hunted down a woolly mammoth bovine with pleasantly plump utters to cream his savory brew.

I really need to lose weight. I’m tired of hauling around this baggage. I am literally 225 pounds of TIRED. I need to feel better.

Tonight I was preparing dinner using this recipe for the Perfect Eye Round Roast. Somewhere on the page I noticed a reference to “the Paleo Lifestyle.” I’ve referred to this recipe multiple times over the past few years and just now noticed “Paleo Lifestyle.” I excuse my previous lack of observation on a Just-Give-Me-The-Recipe-I-Gotta-Make-Dinner laser-like focus. “My wife will be home and I gotta get this roast done right!” I didn’t have time for your Paleo Lifestyle. Where is Paleo anyway? In the Mediterranean?

So I googled Paleo Lifestyle and found that it can be summed up in a nutshell as: “If a caveman didn’t eat it, neither should you.” See, I was right. Mediterranean. Cavemen were early humans and human life most likely originated in the Mediterranean vicinity, generally speaking. The logic is right.

The proposition appeals to me. Don’t eat anything that was not available to the hunter-gatherers. That’s not so bad. It would take some getting used to. I just have to ask myself: Does this food grow on a tree or run through a savanna? If yes, eat it. If no, stay away. For example, does chocolate cake grow on a tree? No. Don’t eat it.

No cake? I might have to give up before I even try.

Then again, maybe all the cake is killing me.

I feel that I am in dire need of a detox. I am so desirous of a pure diet right now that my mouth waters at the thought of a fresh carrot. It’s time for a change.

But my first question is: Is coffee allowed in a Paleo diet? Cavemen must have gathered coffee beans. I vaguely remember an episode of the Flintstones in which Fred and Barney met up at Starbucks and discussed slate quarry union business over mugs of fresh hot Sumatra roast. No biscotti, of course.

My second question: Is cream allowed? I need cream in my Joe. I suppose I could get used to black coffee for the sake of my health. But coffee with cream goes much better with cake… from my cake tree… imported from Germany… the Black Forest. German Black Forest cake. (The logic is flawless.)

I shall investigate this Paleo Lifestyle further.