TRIPPIN

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

Arissa and I took a trip to Georgia over the weekend. As Sarah, Tim and I did last year, we spent Labor Day weekend near Atlanta with Hannah and Madeline. It is a long drive by car, more than 800 miles just to get there. Since the gasoline prices have gone through the ceiling in the States since hurricane Katrina brought her devastation, this may not have been the best time to make such a long road trip. But the desire to see the girls outweighed the inconvenience of paying more than usual for gas.

We left home at 4:15 AM on Friday, September 2. Not even 20 miles down the road, I was stopped by a Princeton police officer for speeding. Luckily, he was overtaken by my winsomeness and finely chiseled handsomeness. He let me go with just a verbal warning. “Mr. Snyder, please drive safely from here until you reach your destination in Georgia. You know, a deer could jump out in front of you and you could end up in an accident.” Shortly thereafter I was doing 80 mph on I-95… breakin’ the law.

Most of the trip down to Georgia was uneventful. We were delayed by construction traffic near Washington, DC and a few other areas. We passed the time by listening to news updates on Katrina on NPR and calculating the times we would cross the next state border. Arissa had not previously had the opportunity to visit most of the states we traveled through. We further amused ourselves by taking pictures of the welcome signs while entering each state, not an easy accomplishment at 80 mph.

We passed Charlotte, NC around 4:00 PM. Shortly thereafter we entered South Carolina, the last state before Georgia. We were pretty excited about that. In fact, three quarters of the way through North Carolina our anticipation of reaching Georgia grew to the point that we were “dancing” to a funky R&B station on the radio. It is a little hard to dance while sitting in a car. But we managed to “get down” to the point that the two girls in the Jetta behind us noticed and started dancing too!

Somewhere in South Carolina, only about 15 miles into the state, on I-85, we were involved in an accident. Suddenly, the cars ahead of us jammed on their brakes. Everyone was trying their damnedest to avoid hitting the car in front of them. First I went left towards the median trying to avoid the white mini van in front of us. Then I swerved right, careful to not enter the lane to our right where traffic was still zipping by at full speed. Then I swerved left again. The whole time I was watching the movements of the drivers in front of and behind us. Instinctively I held Arissa in her seat with my right arm while steering with my left. We were precariously close to both the van and the black Honda behind us. When the Honda driver was inches from my car and heading to the left, I quickly went right, worried that I might clip a passing car in the other lane. Just as the three of us were nearly stopped, a fourth car plowed into the Honda behind me shoving him into me and pushing our car into the van. It wasn’t a violent collision, just enough to scare us a bit.

I immediately got out of the car and ensured that all the other people involved were uninjured. Thankfully, everyone was fine, just a little shaken. It all happened so quickly that a few of the ladies cried when they realized they were in an accident. But everyone regained their composure and someone called for the police.

As soon as we were sure that no one was hurt, everyone began checking the damage to their vehicles. Simultaneously, we all worried about what this incident was going to do to our already high insurance rates. The white van had only a slight scuff mark on its bumper. I had tried my best to miss him and ended up barely grazing him. The Honda had significant damage to its front end. One light was smashed out and his hood was crinkled. The fourth car had a damaged hood as well. The corner of my back bumper was crushed. But no lights were broken. The trunk still opened and closed. I couldn’t find any other damage under the car. I was greatly relieved.

A very young and amazingly skinny South Carolina State Trooper arrived on the scene. He stopped traffic and proceeded to call out instructions to all of us with such an intense southern draw that I could not understand what he said. I could decipher through his gestures that he wanted us to drive down the highway to a safer point. But I wasn’t sure where. I had to politely ask him to clarify. He repeated his instructions more loudly and slowly, perfect for Arissa and I who speak a foreign northern language. We were to move our cars to a rest area which was a mile down the road.

At the rest area, the Trooper took statements from each of us. He took our licenses, registrations and insurance cards. He told us it would take him a while to fill out all of the necessary reports and forms due to the number of vehicles involved in the accident. He wasn’t kidding. We stood around for at least an hour or more waiting for him. The van driver’s wife, a woman who appeared to be in her late 50’s, a woman whose van was hardly damaged, was the most upset and angry over the situation. It was clear that she was eager to pin the blame on the rest of us and collect money to “fix” her van. She insisted on interrupting the officer several times while he was busy writing up the documents. She eyed the rest of us as criminals whose only reason for being on the road that afternoon was to conspire to wreck her van and prevent her from traveling to her family reunion. It was obvious that her husband and children were very embarrassed. The rest of us were very annoyed.

In the end the officer handed out forms containing each driver’s information. These were to be sent to our insurance agents. He explained that the fourth car was ultimately at fault for the collision and gave that poor young fellow a ticket for being unable to control his vehicle. I felt very bad for the guy, who was on his way to meet relatives who had flown in from Bombay before he had to leave for college the next day. It was an extremely tough situation that we all were in and all of us came very close to hitting other cars ourselves. He apologized many times to all of us. Before continuing on our way, I assured him that I was not concerned with pursuing payment to fix my car. It was only a plastic bumper that I could probably push back into shape myself. I wished him well in school and got back on the road to Georgia. I could hear the words of the Princeton police officers from the early morning, “Please slow down, Mr. Snyder.” I did.

The accident cost us two hours of traveling time. Plus, we decided we needed to sit down for dinner and refresh ourselves. So, we didn’t make it to the Hannah and Maddy’s house until 10:00 that night. But we were safe and thankful that nothing more serious happened on our long trip from New Jersey.

HAPPY ALICE COOPER DAY!

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

Here I sit. Again working through lunch. A corporate slave. A cube monkey. A cog in the wheel.

Little does “the man” know that soon I will be rocking with Alice Cooper! It’s only a matter of hours and I will be on the lawn at PNC Arts Center with music blasting into my ears. Let there be lights! Let there be drums! Let there be guitars! Let there be snakes, straight jackets and blood! Let there be Alice!

I hear there is a Paris Hilton parody in Alice’s stage show. She is attacked by her little dog. Then Alice kills the dog. In his radio interview he warned people with front row tickets to not wear good clothes to the show as the blood tends to fly into the audience.

Won’t this be a good relief to my work day tension!

GARAGE BAND

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

Yesterday I had an opportunity to play drums at a party with my good buddy Landon. It was a rather informal affair. Some friends of Lanny’s friends were having a party and asked if he would play. He had played the week before with some other guys at another party. This weekend the drummer couldn’t make it. So, despite being sick, I said I would join them.

Arissa and Joel came with me. It’s was a bit awkward for all of us. We didn’t know anyone other than Landon. Even though people invited us to eat, we felt too strange to do so. We felt very much like outsiders. Although, Landon’s friend Melissa made us feel very welcome.

When we arrived we were told that we would be playing under the deck on the patio behind the house. The top of the deck had been covered with a tarp as the sky was threatening rain. We were nearly set up when it started to rain and we realized that we were still going to get wet. So, we moved into the garage, which turned out to be more spacious than the patio.

We were expecting to be a three piece band with myself on drums, Landon on guitar and a guy named Dan on bass. We were happily joined by Melissa’s brother Chris on percussion. This was the first time I played in a band that had someone on percussion. And he was fantastic! Later in the evening we were joined by Alan on keyboard and trumpet.

Sometimes these playing arrangements cause me a lot of anxiety. There was a long, 18 year gap in my playing experience from the time Joel was born in 1984 until just a few years ago. Therefore, the number of songs I know is somewhat limited. I have been in open mic situations over the past few years in which someone calls out a song, the rest of the band launches into it and I find myself stumbling to catch. I’m a quick learner and good at improvising. But it is rather disconcerting when other guys in the band turn around and just shake their heads. One night I actually had a singer yell at me on stage! I was playing songs I never heard of that night, songs that were in styles that I hadn’t had much experience playing before. This guy was actually angry at me. When he wasn’t yelling he was glaring at me. He acted like we were playing Madison Square Garden. The truth was there were only five people in a tiny room watching us that night.

It quickly became apparent that no one was of the mindset to yell at anyone last night. Everyone was friendly and casual. We laughed at ourselves many times through the night. It’s not so easy to go through a song which only one out of four guys knows and get everything exactly right. We had a few very humorous song endings. Once I didn’t realize that everyone else had stopped and I played on for an extra measure. A few times Landon and Dan couldn’t remember lyrics in the middle of a song. But overall we did a great job, had a lot of fun, and received many compliments from the people watching us.

We played songs from many different bands: Allman Brothers, AC/DC, Sublime, Bob Marley, Tom Petty, Steve Miller, Lynyrd Skynyrd and more. There was a big interest in reggae among the crowd. Though not my forte, I soon caught on and had lots of fun with it. Although, I did mess up in parts of “I Shot the Sheriff” until I finally got it right half way through the song.

We ended up playing until 10 PM or so. All the while there were lots of people drinking beer, playing beer pong and knocking over cups of beer as they tried to make their way around the band to get to the bathroom. Beer and electrical wires do not mingle well. But everyone who needed to make it the bathroom managed to without anyone in the band getting electrocuted.

It was a good time all in all, though rather boring for Arissa and Joel since they didn’t know anyone. The band sounded good. We were happy. The audience was happy. And Melissa sent us all home with hugs.

We never did find out what the occasion for the party was. I guess these people just needed to hear us play!

GO ASK ALICE

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

I’m still sick and there is nothing significant to report today.

So, I’ll tell you about something significant that happened last week.

Late Wednesday night, I got the chance to speak to…

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20050826sammyalice

That’s right! Alice Cooper!

Arissa and I were driving home from the Collective Soul concert in Red Bank. We turned on the radio and heard Alice on Rock Line, a live show. They were taking calls from people who wanted to talk to Alice. We were nearly home when they finally gave the phone number to call. After many tries, we were able to get through.

“Hello, this is Rock Line. Who would you like to speak to tonight?” asked the woman who answered.

“Who to I friggin’ want to talk to??? Alice of course!” I thought.

“Uh… Alice Cooper, please,” I said.

“Sure what would you like to ask Alice?”

“Well,” I started, “the very first rock album I ever bought was Alice’s record School’s Out. I was twelve years old. It was 1975. I just wanted to tell him that and let him know what an influence he was on me.”

“I’m sorry, sir. You have to ask a question for us to let you on the air with Alice. Can you think of a question?”

My mind went blank! I wasn’t prepared with a question! I didn’t know that was the rule!

“Give me a second! Hold on! Let me think!”

I was afraid she was going to hang up on me.

“Uh… uh…”

“Anything you can think of to ask, sir?”

“Uh… well… I know that Alice was somehow connected with Frank Zappa in his early days. How about if I ask him something about that?”

To my relief, she replied, “Okay. How about if you phrase the question like this. ‘What was your relationship with Frank Zappa in the 1970s and do you still keep in touch with the Zappa family?’”

“Can I still tell him that the first record I bought was his?”

“Sure!”

She told me to hold on the line until someone else directing the show came on and gave me instructions.

Eventually, a man came on the line. He screened my question and then gave me the instructions.

“When the host says, ‘Now let’s go to Sam in Manville,’ you say, ‘Hi,’ and immediately ask your question. Nothing else! Just the question!”

Yeah, right!

By this time we had arrived home. Due to the time delay in the radio broadcast, I couldn’t be near the radio while talking on the phone. So, I stood in the driveway with the cell phone while Arissa sat in the car and listened to the show. It felt like it took forever. Every now and then the man came on the line and told me I was coming up soon.

Finally, I heard the show on the line and heard the host say, “Now let’s go to Sam in Manville, NJ. Sam, you’re on the air with Alice Cooper.”

“Holy crap!” I thought.

But I nervously managed to say, “Hey, Alice! It’s an honor to speak with you!”

Alice said, “Oh, thank you!”

Did I go straight to my question? Nope!

“I wanted to let you know that the very first rock album I ever bought was School’s Out when I was 12 years old in 1975. I’ve been your biggest fan ever since!”

Alice again, “Oh, thank you for your kind words.”

“Okay, here’s my question… blah… blah… blah…”

Alice responded to the question. He told how his band came to Los Angeles in the late 1960s from Phoenix. They were the weirdest band anyone had ever seen. No record company wanted to produce their album. But Frank heard them and said, “You guys are weird! My band, the Mothers of Invention, play some weird stuff. But I don’t think I could even teach them how to play what you play. I will produce your record!”

I knew the general story behind that already. I knew that Frank helped him get started. I even knew that at one of Alice’s earliest shows the crowd hated the band so much that they walked out and only Frank and a few friends of the band were left. All I wanted was a chance to get on the air and pay my respects to the Coop!

And look what I have! A ticket to see Alice with Cheap Trick on Monday night! Oh yeah!

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TYPICAL DAY

(Originally posted on the website Heron Flight)

If a guy has an online journal, people expect him to write. Right?

Well, this guy has been a slacker. Right? I haven’t written in a while. The days pass by and I think that I should write about what happens. Sometimes, it doesn’t seem like there is anything significant to write about.

Yet, there are people who still want to read and just want me to write. Right?

So, I’ll write about today. Here’s what happened.

I worked from home today because I am sick. I’ve had this head and chest cold for the past few weeks. I thought I was over it, but it fought back good and hard this week. My chest hurts. My head is so full that I can hardly lift it. I have a vicious cough. My bones ache. I have a lot of work to do with short deadlines. I thought it would be best to keep myself and my germs at home rather than going to the office and “spreading the love.”

Here’s the problem. I push myself too much. You’ve heard of people who “burn the candle at both ends.” Right? Well, I just set the whole damn candle on fire at once! I work full time. I have children. I take classes at a nearby college. I play in a band. I’m the president of a Toastmasters club. I’m an assistant area governor in a local Toastmasters district. I run a web design business. I read lots of books and I attempt to write now and then. Sleep? Who needs sleep?

I do. I tend to go on four or five hours of sleep a night. There are too many things that I might miss if I sleep. There are so many things that I would rather do. I always say that I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Well, that might happen soon if I don’t get more sleep now! The lack of sleep is probably the biggest factor contributing to the health problems I’ve had over the past few years.

Since I was home during the day, I took Joel to the dentist. He’s been having some pain. It turns out that he has a few cavities.

Joel came to live with us in Manville this month. He’s been looking for a job here. Today he had an interview at Arby’s. I hope the whole family can get a discount if he works there. Those beef cheddar melts are awesome!

Sadly, after returning from the dentist’s office this afternoon, Joel had a seizure while taking a shower. I heard some kind of noise while he was in there. I thought it was the upstairs neighbor moving furniture or something. However, a short time after that, I heard Joel calling me from the bathroom. His voice sounded far away. I ran to the bathroom and found him lying on the floor with blood on his face. He cut the corner of his eye on something when he fell. He also hit his mouth and both of his lips were swollen. He was weak and disoriented. I wrapped a towel around him, calmed him down, and cleaned the blood up. After helping him to his bed, I gave him some ice for his lips. He soon fell asleep. Seizures really knock the crap out of him. They leave him feeling like he was run over by a truck. This time he looked like it too. He must have kissed the floor awful hard to get those big lips!

So, that’s what my day has been like. Right now, Arissa is making carrot soup for dinner because I’m sick and have been whining for soup. We have a movie to watch from Netflix. “The Talented Mr. Ripley.” I think that’s the title.

Thank-you to those who have written me to ask why I haven’t been writing. I hope this entry meets your approval. It’s just about a typical day, nothing super significant.