The Reader
Validate at Checkout
I miss the days when library books had cards inside the covers to stamp when you checked them out.
Sure, scanning a bar code to check out a book is convenient. It’s quick.
But the process is also wasteful. Now, instead of one piece of paper that stays inside the book and is used over and over, a new piece of paper is printed every time a book is checked out. Garbage. Garbage. Garbage.
Now there is no way of knowing how many people checked out the same book before you. Part of its soul is missing. Part of your soul is neglected in the process. Now you’re just an isolated reader. You don’t know who held that book in the past. In the future no one will even know that it had passed through your hands. It’s like you don’t exist. Further proof: you can renew your books online so you don’t have to interact with a human.
Maybe I should sign my name and write the date on this card. There must be some way to validate my existence.
Guess What Happened AGAIN
Guess what happened again.
What?
A nor’easter.
Again??
Yes! Again!
I give up. My hopes of running up significant trail miles are dashed. How many miles did my lunatic plan call for this weekend? 15. And I haven’t gone more than 6.7 miles on any given run yet. With several more inches added to the trails, forget it.
I did not attempt the Delaware Water Gap this weekend. Instead I stayed closer to home and ran at Mahlon Dickerson Reservation. “Ran” is not exactly what I did for most of the time I was out there. The first mile wasn’t too bad. After that, forget it. The farther I ventured on the 6-mile trail, the deeper the snow got and the less the trail had been traveled. I plowed through snow for 5 miles. That took me 2 1/2 hours! My feet were pretty dang cold and my socks were crusted with ice by then. There’s a camping area near mile 5 with a paved driveway that leads to the main road. I got out of the snow at that point and ran on the road for a mile and a half back to my car. The road was scary! No shoulder, hills, curves, and cars going way over the speed limit! I was glad to be done when I reached the parking lot.
Below are some pictures from this early morning adventure. I’m not reaching any of my training goals, failing pretty hard and considering dropping out of the upcoming race. But at least I’m getting some nice photos. Enjoy.
You’re Not the Boss of Me
Sir Elton John the Baby Bandit
Last night I had a dream that Elton John tried to run off with my baby boy.
My wife and I were on a train with our son. I don’t know where we were going. We were just minding our own business.
Who came walking down the aisle of the train but Elton John! He stopped when he saw us and asked if he could hold the baby. We were like, “Sure! You’re friggin Elton John! Of course you can hold our kid!”
Elton made baby noises at our little boy. He seemed to be enjoying holding the little guy.
Then he just wandered off!
I followed him, calling out to him, asking where he was going.
Elton then slid a big door open, like the doors on freight cars, and he jumped out with the baby while the train was moving!
I, of course, jumped out too. I don’t care if you are Elton John. You aren’t getting away with my baby!
I caught up to Elton and he didn’t have the baby. He pointed under the train, which had stopped by then. There was my little boy lying on the black stones of the railway bed. I ran and picked him up.
Elton then started crying. He kept repeating, “Now I’m in trouble! Now I’m in trouble!”
I said, “Look, Elton, just forget about it. Let’s get back on the train before it starts rolling again.”
“Now I’m in trouble! Now I’m in trouble!”
Music began to play from within the train.
Elton: “Hey! They’re playing music in there!”
Me: “Come on, man! That’s the signal that the train’s about to leave!”
I began climbing into the train with my baby in one arm. But as dreams usually go, it wasn’t as simple as climbing back into the open door. I was climbing on metal bars like a jungle gym. The door to the train was many feet above me. I kept climbing and climbing, worrying that I wasn’t going to make it into the train before it started moving, worrying that I’d drop the baby, or that we would both fall. The climbing seemed to go on for a very long time.
I don’t know if we made it. I don’t know if Elton started climbing to get back on the train. The last I saw him he was lying next to the train bemoaning the fact that he was in trouble. All I know is Captain Fantastic didn’t get away with my boy. No, sir!